The Space Race may have officially ended 50 years ago when the United States put the first man on the moon, but the Soviet Union had already beaten us to several other milestones along the way. The first satellite, the first astronaut, the first spacewalk—and the first woman in space, in 1963.
NASA wouldn’t send a female astronaut into orbit until 20 years later. Then it took 12 more years before a woman actually flew an American spacecraft. Why did it take us so long? How different, how much further along might the world be, if we had let a woman go into space in the ’60s?
That’s the question director Giovanna Sardelli hopes audiences will ask after seeing They Promised Her the Moon at The Old Globe. The new play from writer Laurel Ollstein tells the true story of Jerrie Cobb and the Fellow Lady Astronaut Trainees, who until last year’s Netflix documentary Mercury 13 had almost completely faded from public memory—indeed, neither Sardelli nor Ollstein had heard of them until they began working on the project.
Ollstein felt obliged to write about the story when she stumbled upon it 10 years ago during a residency at the University of Oklahoma. Born in 1931 in that same state, Jerrie Cobb learned to fly at age 12, and later took any job that would let her keep flying: dusting crops, patrolling pipelines, and eventually becoming a flight instructor herself. She set six world aviation records and served the Navy as a ferry pilot delivering planes overseas.
For research, Ollstein interviewed several female pilots, learning they weren’t that unusual for the era. “I kept coming away with the fact that when women start talking about flying, they have this euphoric look,” she says. “It’s not the same way men talk about it. They found a freedom in flying; a way they could have total control.”
In NASA’s early years, the head of its Special Committee on Bioastronautics, Randy Lovelace, also ran a private foundation for medical research in Albuquerque. Lovelace invited Cobb to his facility in 1960 to attempt the same physical and psychological testing that male astronaut candidates were taking, and when she passed with flying colors, the massive wave of publicity that followed brought more women into the program.
Women found freedom in flying; a way they could have total control.
All of them met NASA’s basic criteria. They were in good health, had college degrees, commercial pilot’s licenses, and 2,000 hours of flight time. The tests were exhaustive, even harrowing—electric shocks to test reflexes, ice water shot into the ear canal to induce vertigo, an isolation tank, a four-hour eye exam, daily enemas, a throat tube to test their stomach acid, countless X-rays. Ultimately, 13 of these women surpassed every requirement in the first round of testing (some with better scores than the more famous “Mercury Seven”). The oldest was 41 and a mother of eight; the youngest just 23.
But as the best candidates prepared to head to Pensacola for their third and final round of tests at the Naval School of Aviation, the Navy abruptly canceled it, with the excuse that only official NASA programs could have access to their equipment.
Jerrie Cobb dropped everything and flew to Washington, DC. She wrote to President Kennedy in protest, and Congress convened to investigate. (Notably, the 1964 Civil Rights Act making sex discrimination illegal was still two years away.) Those hearings found no sympathetic ear among the Mercury Seven; John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth, said, “The fact that women are not in this field is a fact of our social order.” Because NASA required astronauts have experience specifically in military jet aircraft, and the US military did not allow female jet pilots, it was de facto impossible for them to become astronauts.
One year later, Valentina Tereshkova, who had no experience prior to joining the Soviet space program except in sport parachuting, would become the first woman in space and return to a hero’s welcome.
Ollstein hopes audiences will leave her play with a sense of how hard these women fought, and how many of their stories are lost. New York’s Miranda Theatre Company held the first workshops for They Promised Her the Moon in November 2016. When Amanda Quaid, who played Cobb, sent out an email blast about the production, it caught the eye of The Old Globe’s artistic director, Barry Edelstein. He invited Ollstein to the Powers New Voices Festival in January 2018 to produce the play as a reading, matching her with director Giovanna Sardelli, who had spent time looking for a women’s history story and was immediately intrigued by the hook, as she puts it: “What happens to somebody when they’re not allowed to live up to their potential?”
The festival served as a trial run to see how Ollstein and Sardelli might work together. One advantage of starting with a reading: Neither had to worry about all the usual logistics, and could just focus on developing the characters. “You learn so much that when you put together the show, you’re very specific about what each character brings to the table,” Sardelli says.
The two reunited for a second workshop in August at TheatreWorks Silicon Valley, where the play continued to evolve. “I come from a very collaborative world of working in companies,” Ollstein says, “so I love rewriting in the room.”
Being able to revise between productions is a unique strength of the medium—she went through several drafts as she kept learning new historical details. “There were originally 20 characters,” she says, “because I wrote it in a university setting and they wanted me to throw in as many as possible! I came out with a play that no one would ever produce, because it needed too many actors.”
Some early feedback from the readings was skeptical. “People said I went a little far with the reporters,” she recalls. “But I used direct quotes, and they’re shocking. You can’t believe how they talked about Cobb in the press. ‘Why yes, her numbers are fantastic—36-24-36!’”
The Old Globe Puts Jerrie Cobb’s Story Centerstage
Jerrie Cobb in a flight simulator
Sardelli and Ollstein both say the collaboration has been fabulous so far. “We’re able to talk about these women like they’re our family now,” the latter says. “We’re now on our third cast; we know what will help the actors, what will help the story be understood.”
Based out of LA, Ollstein has been present in San Diego throughout development, and is still rewriting in the room. She’s grateful that, in theater, writers have the final say—which is seldom true in film or TV. “If it’s a new play, people want it to be the best it can be. Having the playwright in the room is usually a gift.”
Only six of the Mercury 13 are still living. Jerrie Cobb is 88 years old. So Sardelli is happy to think that this play won’t let her extraordinary life fade from history. “Laurel was very smart to focus on just one woman, more than a movement.” She hopes that audiences will relate to Cobb as an individual, even removed from the greater context of the fight for women’s equality. Likewise, Ollstein finds the historical setting helps people get past the usual detachment of reading about national politics in the news.
“It’s a really important, inspiring story,” Sardelli says. “It’s a universal story, for any human being who’s just a little bit ahead of their time.”
Before, during, and after the Fourth of July, San Diegans can commemorate America’s 250th anniversary with an abundance of stars, stripes and local celebrations. America The Beautiful: 250 at The Rady Shell and Lamb’s Players Theatre’s revival of American Rhythm will look back at the many songs which define our country. Liberty Station’s Anchored in Freedom celebration and the Independence Day Carnival offer community-centered fun and loads of family-friendly activities. And who can possibly forget the Big Bay Boom, which will resume its reign over San Diego Bay as the state’s biggest fireworks show. Outside of the holiday festivities, this week brings the yearly return of Little Italy’s Summer Sera and the Athenaeum Summer Festival, as well as a slate of championship matches for All Elite Wrestling.
Sip on refreshing beverages and savor a panoramic rooftop view this Friday from 6-8 p.m. during the 21-plus Sunset & Spritz at Margaritaville Hotel San Diego Gaslamp Quarter’s 5 O’Clock Somewhere Bar. There will be a live DJ (until 9 p.m.), appetizers, pool and cabana access, a photo booth, and a cash bar (until 11 p.m.). To accentuate the summer theme, guests are invited to dress in white, pink, and orange attire. Tickets are $29 and come with a welcome aperol spritz.
616 J Street, Gaslamp
The 250 Grand Tasting Menu at Amaya
July 3 & 4
Bring a patriotic palette to the Fairmont Grand Del Mar for The 250 Grand Tasting Menu at Amaya this Friday and Saturday from 5-8:30 p.m. Patrons will be treated to a five-course tasting menu, curated to exhibit a selection of standout regional flavors and culinary concepts that have shaped our country’s distinct food heritage. The meal will also include beverage pairings with each course, such as wine, cocktails, and artisanal drinks. Reservations are $330 per person (with tax and 20% gratuity) on OpenTable.
Don Toliver thrives at being the life of the party (and the “After Party”). His fifth album Octane, released in February, is indicative of his thrill-seeking nature. As with his earlier releases, Octane sees Toliver operating in the space between hip-hop and R&B, with warbling vocals and blaring beats that are best heard at a high volume. This Tuesday at 7:30 p.m., Toliver will play at Pechanga Arena, with rappers SoFaygo, Chase B and SahBabii—who had a guest verse on Octane standout “K9”—as special guests. Tickets start at $156 for this concert.
What makes musicals like Wicked, Cats, Chicago, and Jersey Boys so timeless is the legion of excellent songs that makes fans out of those who’ve never even watched the show. This Friday at 7:30 p.m. during Blockbuster Broadway! at The Rady Shell, conductor Evan Roider, the San Diego Symphony Orchestra, and veteran vocalists Alex Getlin, Jessica Hendy, Scott Coulter, and John Boswell (also on piano) will perform an all-star theater soundtrack. In addition to the shows named above, audiences can expect songs from A Chorus Line, The Phantom of the Opera, Annie,and more. Tickets range from $57 to $129 for this concert.
222 Marina Park Way, Embarcadero
America The Beautiful: 250 at The Rady Shell
July 4
One night after recognizing the brilliance of Broadway, The Rady Shell will ring in the United States’ landmark anniversary with America The Beautiful: 250 this Saturday at 7:30 p.m. Conductor Byron Stripling, joined by a five-performer ensemble and the San Diego Symphony Orchestra, will lead a night of ballads that best resemble the red, white, and blue, including songs sourced from the Great American Songbook. After the show, concertgoers are invited to watch the nearby Big Bay Boom from their seats. Tickets range from $71 to $139 for this concert.
222 Marina Park Way, Embarcadero
Athenaeum Summer Festival at Athenaeum Music & Arts Library
Ryan Hardison is a freelance arts and entertainment writer and recent graduate of San Diego State. When he's not staring at his laptop, he's likely eating an adobada burrito or getting sunburnt at the beach.
Summer has officially kicked off, and San Diego is celebrating the sunny season with a myriad of fun events. From San Diego Pride week and a fairytale performance at Civic Theatre to a Santigold concert and Comic-Con, there are dozens of opportunities to make memories worth adding to your scrapbook. Here are all the best things to do in San Diego this July:
Divine inspirations, operatic ballads, and symphonic pop production elevate Rosalía’s Lux to heavenly levels. Hear angelic vocals ascend—in up to 13 languages—during her performance at Pechanga Arena.
Enjoy a night of feel-good indie rock and sing-along anthems at the Cal Coast Credit Union Open Air Theatre courtesy of Young the Giant and special guest Cold War Kids.
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Santigold collects genres like gold stars: musical accouterments that brighten her uniquely alternative sound. See her live in concert with dancehall producer Troy Baker Sound at Humphreys Concerts by the Bay.
Two male government workers pursue a secret romance amid the Lavender Scare in the San Diego Opera’s production of “Fellow Travelers” at the Balboa Theatre.
Audrey Hepburn. Marlon Brando. Salvador Dalí. What do these icons have in common? Each was the enigmatic focus of a Cecil Beaton portrait. Step inside Cecil Beaton’s Fashionable World, an alluring showcase of 20th-century style at San Diego Museum of Art.
Courtesy of San Diego Pride
More Fun Things to Do in San Diego This Month
1
The Little Italy Mercato will trade morning rays for golden-hour glow through its free Summer Sera, an expansion of the neighborhood’s farmers market with live music, artisanal finds, and a fetching amount of pet activities.
11–19
San Diego Pride week starts with a Dyke March and ends with the two-day “Pride Shines On” festival. The days in between? Run a 5K, march in the parade, visit the rainbow-lit St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral, and more.
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Dress up for a Mediterranean-themed tea time at the Estancia La Jolla, a laid-back yet refined afternoon planned for the resort’s monthly Tea in the Garden series.
23–26
Nerd culture’s biggest gathering returns to the Convention Center. San Diego Comic-Con welcomes fans of everything from comic book cinema to ultra-rare collectibles for panels, exhibits, sneak peeks, and much more.
Ryan Hardison is a freelance arts and entertainment writer and recent graduate of San Diego State. When he's not staring at his laptop, he's likely eating an adobada burrito or getting sunburnt at the beach.
There are two types of San Diegans in July: those who have their Pride Festival tickets, and those who wish they’d bought them sooner. Summer in San Diego already feels like a fever dream of sunshine and saltwater, and with Balboa Park turning it up to a level best described as joyfully unhinged, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
That’s right: San Diego Pride 2026 is bigger, louder, and more necessary than ever. From July 18–19, expect a full, unapologetic, flags-everywhere kind of weekend where the city opens its arms and means it. Here’s everything you need to know about San Diego Pride 2026.
When and where is the 2026 San Diego Pride Festival?
The San Diego Pride Festival takes over Marston Point in Balboa Park (6th Ave. & Laurel St.) on Saturday, July 18 (12 p.m. to 10 p.m.) and Sunday, July 19 (12 p.m. to 9 p.m.).
How much are San Diego Pride Festival tickets?
Buy tickets early because prices go up closer to the weekend. Regular GA is priced at $45 for a single day or $75 for the full weekend. Once Pride Weekend pricing kicks in, that bumps to $48 for one day and $85 for two days. VIP Weekend starts at $269, and if you want a Meet & Greet with Hailie Sahar on July 18 at 2 p.m., tickets are $106.
Seniors 65 years and older can grab a ticket at the box office for $15, and high schoolers and younger get in free, though they still need to stop by the box office for a ticket before entering. Regular pricing is available through July 17, so don’t wait until the last minute.
What to expect at the festival?
The San Diego Pride Festival isn’t just a typical party. Expect Balboa Park at maximum capacity and maximum heart with five stages, hundreds of vendors, and more joy per square foot than anywhere else in the city that weekend.
At the heart of it all is the Stonewall Stage, the main event where legends and newcomers alike make their San Diego Pride debut. The Mundo Latino Stage brings Rock en Español, DJs, drag shows, and multicultural performers to the mix. The Movement Stage offers a full celebration of Black LGBTQIA+ arts, music, and culture through hip hop, urban contemporary, and local DJs, plus a Queer Locals Marketplace full of LGBTQ-owned small businesses selling handmade art, wellness goods, literature, community resources, and more.
For the people who came to actually dance, the Euphoria Stage delivers electronic music and groundbreaking talent. Prism For All is where art, libraries, and history collide, with workshops, performances, and a makerspace hosted by Art of Pride, the San Diego Public Library, and Lambda Archives. And the Youth Zone gives LGBTQIA+ young people their own dedicated area to meet, get creative, play, and find support.
Who is featured on the 2026 San Diego Pride Festival lineup?
The San Diego Pride Festival 2026 runs on the energy of over 2,000 volunteers every year. With more than 30 departments to choose from, whether you’re a people person, a behind-the-scenes organizer, or just someone who wants to do something good in a great outfit, there’s a spot with your name on it. Head to the San Diego Pride website to sign up.
When and where is the San Diego Pride Parade?
San Diego’s Pride Parade calls the parade “the region’s largest single-day civic event,” drawing more than 250,000 attendees annually. This year it takes place on Saturday, July 18 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. and starts at University Avenue and Normal Street. Then it travels west on University Avenue, south on Sixth Avenue, and ends near Balboa Park/Quince Drive.
When and where is the San Diego Pride 5K and Walk?
The Pride 5K Run & Walk is one of the highlights of Pride Week, drawing as many as 1,700 runners and walkers from around the world and raising approximately $40,000 for charity partners San Diego Pride and The LGBT Center’s Youth Housing Project. This year it also takes place on July 18, just a bit earlier at 8 a.m., at the corner of Centre and University Ave in Hillcrest.
Of course, buying a ticket is a guaranteed good time, but it’s also funding something real. San Diego Pride is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit, and proceeds go toward supporting organizations that host community events, programs, and fundraisers advancing pride, equality, and respect for LGBTQ+ communities locally, nationally, and globally.
That includes virtual youth programming like Pride’s Youth Leadership Academy, which reaches more than 4,000 LGBTQ children and young adults, as well as coalitions like the QAPIMEDA Coalition, Black LGBTQ Coalition, and Latinx Coalition, and more than 30 LGBTQ programs and events throughout the year.
What items are prohibited at the San Diego Pride Festival?
The prohibited items list is lengthy (no balloons, no selfie sticks, no bubble-making devices, trust us they’ll make up for it elsewhere), but the big ones to keep in mind: clear bags only (max 12″x6″x12″), no outside food, no alcoholic beverages, no glass, no large umbrellas, and no knives or weapons of any kind. Leave the drone at home too. For the full list, head to sdpride.org/entry-policies.
Isabella Dallas is a freelance writer for San Diego Magazine and the Arts and Culture Editor at The Daily Aztec in her final year at San Diego State University. She previously worked as an editorial intern for SDM, but when she’s not writing, you can find her trying the best coffee spots in SD, devouring the latest rom-coms, and indulging in anything and everything pop culture.
San Diego summers can be brutal. But since the hottest period is typically late summer into early fall, San Diegans still have time to prepare. The pros at Mauzy Cooling, Heating, Plumbing, and Electrical are standing by to help homeowners fortify their homes against the elements and ensure their air conditioning is as frosty as the penguins that serve as the company’s mascots.
Many homeowners underestimate the load their AC system faces, especially in the inland valleys where temperatures regularly top 100 degrees. San Diego regularly sees multi-day heatwaves each summer, and a system that struggles on the first day will likely fail by the third.Longer run times, unusual sounds or smells, and uneven cooling from room to room are all signs that your system may not survive the next hot spell.
Systems typically last 12 to 17 years, but there are exceptions. If a system is approaching that, or is already there, a professional evaluation is recommended before summer really heats up. A good rule of thumb: If you can’t remember when your system was last serviced, it’s due.
“As technology changes, systems become smarter and smarter,” says Sean O’Connor, an install manager at Mauzy with 42 years of experience. “There are a lot of people out there who will say a system’s only good for 10 years. I don’t buy that—these systems are built to last as long as they’re taken care of.”
There are also a few steps homeowners can take between services to extend the life of their system. Regularly changing a dirty filter—especially if you have kids or pets—and keeping an outdoor unit clean can help head off problems in the future, says O’Connor.
Also, be realistic about whether it’s time to replace a unit. O’Connor likens pouring money into salvaging a faulty unit with patchwork repairs and replacement parts to “tripping over a dollar to pick up a dime.” When one part fails, others are sure to follow, and newer parts may not be compatible with older units. Mauzy recommends homeowners use the 50% rule: If a repair costs more than 50% of the system’s replacement value, and the equipment is over 10 years old, replacement is usually the better long-term value. And don’t forget the ducting. An older house that was built with heat and later had air conditioning added may not have sufficient airflow, regardless of how good the system is.
Last but not least, homeowners should know who to trust when it comes to their homes. Built on three generations of professional integrity, Mauzy has grown into not just a leader for cooling, heating, plumbing, and electrical services, but a leader in the community known for supporting local nonprofits across an array of causes. To ensure complete peace of mind, Mauzy stands behind a comprehensive 12-point guarantee that outlines its commitment to outstanding service, quality equipment, expert technicians who understand how the local microclimates affect HVAC performance, and no upsells or surprises on the bill.
“We go the extra mile. That’s what sets us apart,” O’Connor says. To get a free quote today, visit mauzy.com.
Summertime in San Diego may bring about blue skies and sun-drenched days, but it doesn’t stop there. There’s also the top-notch concerts, tasting events and wallet-friendly fixtures that make this season feel extra special. Fans of contemporary and classical music can check out performances by the San Diego Symphony Orchestra, the Beach Boys and Kool & The Gang at The Rady Shell or the annual Mainly Mozart All-Star Orchestra Festival in La Jolla. Local gourmands can sign up for a spot at our Omakase Open, indulge in cold desserts at Scoop San Diego or journey across a two-mile stretch of good eats during the Taste of Adams Avenue. As for free events, there’s a new edition of San Diego Made: LIVE at San Diego Made Factory, the Pride Party at Museum of Us and the return of the Ocean Beach Street Fair & Chili Cook-Off.
Japanese omakase dining is an artform built on trust, in patrons allowing their chef to entirely curate their meal. That’s why, this Thursday from 6-9 p.m., San Diego Magazine is gathering the city’s finest sushi and omakase chefs to showcase their skills during the21-plus Omakase Open at JULEP. Guests can enjoy live music, all you can eat food and drink, plus the chance to converse with local culinary masterminds and decide on the night’s best bites, all while supporting the Convoy Pan Asian Cultural and Businesses Innovation District. General admission ($85) is full up, but join the waitlist in case more tickets become available.
1735 Hancock Street, Mission Hills
Taste of Adams Avenue
June 28
From University Heights to Kensington and the unique neighborhoods in between, Adams Avenue is home to a host of must-try flavors. During the 25th annual Taste of Adams Avenue, happening this Sunday from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., 45 spots along Adams Avenue will offer samples, with brunch-inspired bites, refreshing ales, world-class gelato on the menu. Attendees can make the most of their self-guided tasting tours by walking, biking or riding from end-to-end on a complimentary trolley. Tickets are $55 online and $65 the day of.
Adams Avenue
Scoop San Diego Ice Cream Festival
June 28
It’s a scientific fact (source: trust me) that a little sweet treat, like say ice cream, paletas or shaved ice, has the power to make any day instantly better. Meaning, it’s only right to treat yourself to a dessert-filled afternoon during the 8th annual Scoop San Diego Ice Cream Festival, where three dozen local vendors will serve up their finest specialties this Sunday from noon to 4 p.m. in North Park. General admission ($49) comes with 10 shareable two-ounce samples; all net proceeds will go towards Feeding San Diego.
30th Street & North Park Way, North Park
Concerts & Festivals in San Diego This Weekend
Mainly Mozart All-Star Orchestra Festival
Through June 27
Week two of the 38th Annual Mainly Mozart All-Star Orchestra Festival begins Tuesday (7 p.m.) with a performance of Mozart’s “Jenamy” and pieces by Lully and Strauss, followed by Mozart’s “Jupiter,” and works by with Schumann and Pärt on Thursday (7 p.m.), both at The Conrad; tickets range from $71 to $163 for each concert. The festival will then conclude Saturday (7 p.m.) with Mozart, Brahms and a performance of Beethoven’s Symphony No. 5 at Epstein Family Amphitheater; tickets range from $26 to $263. And if that’s not enough Mozart for you, pianist Anton Nel will lead a prelude concert in the JAI prior to Tuesday and Thursday’s shows.
The Conrad: 7600 Fay Avenue, La Jolla | Epstein Family Amphitheater: 9500 Gilman Drive, La Jolla
Opening Weekend at The Rady Shell
June 26–28
A star-studded opening weekend is in store to kick off The Rady Shell’s summer season. On Friday (7:30 p.m.), Rafael Payare will conduct the San Diego Symphony Orchestra in an effusive Opening Night program featuring violin soloist Stefan Jackiw; tickets range from $57 to $124. The following night at 7:30 p.m., the orchestra will pair up with The Beach Boys, plus special guest John Stamos, for a rousing tribute to Pet Sounds; tickets range from $78 to $268. Then, on Sunday (7:30 p.m.), audiences can boogie their way to Monday with Kool & the Gang and hip-hop pioneers the Sugarhill Gang; tickets range from $68 to $152.
Ryan Hardison is a freelance arts and entertainment writer and recent graduate of San Diego State. When he's not staring at his laptop, he's likely eating an adobada burrito or getting sunburnt at the beach.
Walking into a room full of strangers isn’t high on the fun index for most. It’s inherently awkward: Everyone’s standing in closed-loop clusters, deep in conversation, and, depending on your social aptitude, the feeling is somewhere between light apprehension and burning alive from the inside out. The pull to retreat or reflexively look busy on your phone is stronger than the drink you now deeply crave. Having friends is nice, but making friends can be brutal.
There’s plenty of commentary on the loneliness epidemic. Last year, the American Psychiatric Association reported that one in three adults feel lonely at least once a week; those aged 18 to 34 are more likely to feel isolated and even more likely to turn to social media as a result. Dr. Vivek Murthy’s “My Parting Prescription for America” cautioned that “being socially disconnected increases our risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, anxiety, and premature death.” So it’s not just an emotional need; it’s nearly nutritional—chit-chat and the occasional wine-fueled, emotional deep-dive are just as important as Pilates and a reasonable amount of kale.
Finding social connections in any city is hard, but San Diego has very specific challenges. This is largely a transient population that acts as a temporary hotspot for many and a permanent home for few. Pick your reason: high rent, surreal gas prices, housing shortage, meh job opportunities (ranked 71st in the country in 2025), or the fact that active military is a sizable chunk of us (110,000-ish)—stationed here for a stretch, then gone. This constant flow of departees sucks out the potential for deeply established families and friend groups, leaving a good share of nomads, searchers, and plenty of people feeling socially awkward.
“There’s an underlying loneliness in all of us,” says Ramel Wallace, the host of monthly meetup CreativeMornings. “There are not a lot of San Diegans who are born and raised here, so [even those] San Diegans end up being just as lonely as the person who just got here.”
Photo Credit: Blair Kirby
Every month, in local libraries, breweries, and small businesses, there are ambitious social architects who have made a career out of undoing social sads. Extroverted champions of the awkward and searching, they’ve struck gold on in-person connection.
The first moments in a social situation are crucial. Sets the tone and cools the nerves.
At Pitch-A-Friend, singles recruit their close friends to present a slideshow of their dating green flags. The entry points for connection at Pitch-A-Friend are simple, old tech: stickers. Each colored sticker indicates if the wearer is single or taken, queer or straight, or practicing ethical non-monogamy (in a partnership but open to others under a mutual understanding).
At the helm of each showcase is Arielle Fuller, aka Chief Wingwoman, who is making dating hopeful again. As Fuller explains, this takes some of the fear of rejection out of a first interaction. “Putting a sticker on immediately means, ‘I wanted to leave my house and talk to someone, and I am a safe space to come and speak to me,’” she says.
Of course, not all of San Diego’s events designed to make connections are romantic. On the last Friday of every month, hundreds gather at San Diego Central Library for the local chapter of CreativeMornings—an org formed to unite creatives in various cities across the world (designers, artists, writers, producers, performers, architects, etc.).
Photo Credit: Gina Ribando
These aren’t your standard business card swaps, though. Coming from a hip-hop background, host Wallace uses call-and-response to break the fourth wall. “This is not my stage at all, this is our stage,” he says.
In your standard lecture-based meetup, the crowd silently faces the host and acknowledges nobody except those they came with. At CreativeMornings, everyone is encouraged to look around, pay attention to the strangers in the audience—not just the host. Wallace will pull volunteers to read the CM manifesto aloud, and he passes the mic to creatives, who make 30-second pitches to the community about projects they’re working on—and there’s always an invitation to connect and collaborate with the presenters whose ideas struck a chord.
The U.S. Chamber of Connection (yes it exists) says people experience life transitions nearly every year, and in these stretches are more open to forming new habits, relationships, and communities. In a revolving-door city like ours, the transition often comes when someone moves away. In 2023, the Census Bureau reported San Diego had the ninth-highest rates of domestic out-migration in the US.
This poses an issue for friendships that IRL SD addresses in monthly friend-making events called 619 Night.
“San Diego isn’t a place a lot of people stay forever,” says Alex Hunter, the creator of IRL SD. “They leave, and people [who stay] lose that community, so they’re hungry for community again.”
Their website describes the vibe as “backyard party meets college fair meets networking event meets happy hour.” Each follows a theme—wellness, sports, refresh and reset, etc.—with related community groups joining as well.
“The people I encounter are trying to get a fresh start in some capacity, so they’re more open, receptive, and ready to meet new friends,” Hunter says. “They need the circle.”
Photo Credit: Elysian Visions by Deaune Boyd LLC
Another way adults can break out of this disconnection is to revert in unison, says artist Elisa Summiel-Bey. The 2015-ish adult coloring book moment in the US was based on some real science, with multiple studies finding coloring has a noticeable meditative and stress-release effect by taking the brain away from anxieties and mental inventories, and focusing it on a simple, easy art. Summiel-Bey’s company Illustrated Melanin throws “Color & Chill” events, turning that trend into a group exercise, along with live DJ sets, wellness experts doing sound baths, and food and drink from BIPOC-owned local businesses. “I tend to think of coloring as your way to tap back into your childlike play,” she says. “As adults, I think we’re almost scared to let loose and have that unabashed joy.”
All of these social meetups attract crowds of likeminded connection-seekers, but high attendance is not the only thing that matters. Metrics nuts can track RSVPs, but spreadsheets can’t capture intangible wins: friendships made, innovative ideas sparked, collaborations kicked off. At CreativeMornings, Wallace redefines ROI as Return On Imagination. Resounding success means thoughtful inquiries over coffee, curiosity about the monthly meeting themes, and requests to take the microphone.
A simple, observable ROI is an increased number of window shoppers to the experience—on the periphery, watching from afar, looking for the right way in. Hunter from IRL SD sees the anxiety in her DMs. “The scariest part for you right now is not meeting new friends: It’s the unknown,” she says. “It’s the gap between ‘I’m here’ and ‘That’s where I need to be.’ If I can help you understand, or get a little bit of a shape around that unknown, it’s much more approachable.”
Courtesy of IRL SD
Being able to bridge that gap, however, depends on your ability to step out of your own mind. “It’s not a connection crisis; it’s a courage and confidence crisis,” says Fuller. The first hello could be as easy as, “Hey, cool shirt.” These are the types of things she includes in her confidence lab reels on Instagram and weekly newsletters.
Ever left a social event and shot straight into a spiral? Was I being weird? Why did I tell that story? I hope that person moves to another state very soon.
The experts say that post-event self-interrogation is a standard-issue part of being alive.
“I love awkward people, and I love being awkward myself,” says Wallace. “It’s humbling to experience: ‘I’m not alone. Finally someone is not put together.’ So give yourself that grace.”
Jeannine Boisse (she/her) is a freelance writer and professional creative with a background in Radio & Television. Based in sunny San Diego, Jeannine spends her time exploring the city's vibrant brewery scene, cooking up new recipes in the kitchen, and connecting with new people.
Daniel A. Kaplan is a founding partner of Panakos LLP with more than three decades of civil litigation experience in both state and federal courts. Mr. Kaplan pursues and defends legal claims on behalf of companies, entrepreneurs, and business owners in high-stakes disputes. He focuses on business disputes including breach of contract, unfair competition, trade secret theft, securities disputes, fraud/misrepresentations, and employment matters.
“The best advocacy combines preparation, perspective, and a client relationship built on trust and candor.” — Daniel A. Kaplan
His clients include real estate investors, private and public corporations, and individuals seeking sophisticated legal counsel. Known for practical judgment and strategic advocacy, he works closely with an experienced and diverse legal team to protect, enforce, and defend his clients’ interests.
555 W. Beech Street, Ste. 500, San Diego, California 92101 619-8000-LAW Panakos.law
