Edit ModuleShow Tags

By Any Other Name

Twelve restaurant buzzwords that have worn out their welcome


Published:

Some of our best friends are craft artisans. We’re also sympathetic to the plight of urban gastro-Americans. However, here are 12 current buzzwords taken from the names of San Diego restaurants and why we propose to outlaw them until further notice (which is until we ourselves may profit from their usage):

PUBLIC: Phew. Thought it was one of those private bars. We never have the right jackets or parents to get into those.

PUB: Sell a billion albums, convert to Kabbalah, and marry an Anglo film director. Then you can fake being British, Narnian, whatever.

CRAFT: This word and “friends” need to hang out and talk about the glory days when they still had meaning.

ARTISAN: Da Vinci didn’t title it “The Artisan Mona Lisa.”

PROVISIONS: Hardtack is a provision. So are army blankets. Duck fat fries are a provision in our Ferrari, but not anywhere else.

UNION: With the Abe Lincoln face-hair trend, we understand your confusion. But the Civil War is over. The guys who weren’t a-holes won.

AMERICAN: Only if you chew food for baby bald eagles. Otherwise, you’re just superficially co-opting patriotism to sell beer. Which, actually, is incredibly American. Carry on.  

KITCHEN: This is one of those restaurants with a kitchen?! Floors, too?

URBAN: Those copper mugs weren’t spittoons? We’d better go. 

TAVERN: Feel free. But you must wear billowy pantaloons, serve mead, and be known among maidens as the Eddie Van Halen of the lute.

HOUSE: So you sleep, shower, and have relations here? Thanks, but we just remembered we have lute practice.

GASTRO: We get it. It’s a snappy prefix you can attach to any word or phrase! Like ‘-intestinal issues.’

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

More »Related Stories

Six Food Things I’m Grateful For

San Diego people, places, and trends I appreciate the heck out of

Very Important Taco: Pork Birria and Funghi Ranchero Tacos

A mobile caterer brings a taste of 'grandmother's cooking' San Diego

The Contender: Canyon Sports Pub & Grill

A zero-frills watering hole in Chula Vista has a little magic with its Buffalo-style wings
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Most Popular

  1. The Problem With Bright Red Tuna
    Many Americans still think bright red tuna means it’s fresher (it’s not)
  2. First Look: Animae
    Puffer Malarkey Restaurants unveil 5.5 million-dollar pan-Asian concept
  3. The Hunt For San Diego's Best Chicken Wings
    How wings became the No. 1 kickoff food in the U.S., and our hunt for the best
  4. Jason Mraz and his Historic Coffee Bean
    The singer and Bird Rock Coffee Roasters unveil the first California-grown Geisha coffee
  5. How San Diego Are You?
    Take our quiz to see where you land on the newcomer to old-timer spectrum
  6. First Look: Zinqué
    L.A. success story brings the soul of French zincs to Little Italy
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Promotions

Not Your Grandma's Orthotics

New year, new – shoe? Staying on your feet for long hours at a time just got a whole lot more comfortable with Wiivv’s BASE custom insoles

October is Rideshare Month

Join the Rideshare 2015 Challenge and get there together
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module
Edit Module

Connect With Us:

Edit ModuleShow Tags

Sponsored

’Tis the Season for San Diego Fun

Here's where to play and stay this winter in America’s Finest City

We Chat with the Crew behind Hornblower Cruises and Events Aboard the High Spirits Ship

Sponsored by Hornblower
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module Edit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags