Edit ModuleShow Tags

By Any Other Name

Twelve restaurant buzzwords that have worn out their welcome


Published:

Some of our best friends are craft artisans. We’re also sympathetic to the plight of urban gastro-Americans. However, here are 12 current buzzwords taken from the names of San Diego restaurants and why we propose to outlaw them until further notice (which is until we ourselves may profit from their usage):

PUBLIC: Phew. Thought it was one of those private bars. We never have the right jackets or parents to get into those.

PUB: Sell a billion albums, convert to Kabbalah, and marry an Anglo film director. Then you can fake being British, Narnian, whatever.

CRAFT: This word and “friends” need to hang out and talk about the glory days when they still had meaning.

ARTISAN: Da Vinci didn’t title it “The Artisan Mona Lisa.”

PROVISIONS: Hardtack is a provision. So are army blankets. Duck fat fries are a provision in our Ferrari, but not anywhere else.

UNION: With the Abe Lincoln face-hair trend, we understand your confusion. But the Civil War is over. The guys who weren’t a-holes won.

AMERICAN: Only if you chew food for baby bald eagles. Otherwise, you’re just superficially co-opting patriotism to sell beer. Which, actually, is incredibly American. Carry on.  

KITCHEN: This is one of those restaurants with a kitchen?! Floors, too?

URBAN: Those copper mugs weren’t spittoons? We’d better go. 

TAVERN: Feel free. But you must wear billowy pantaloons, serve mead, and be known among maidens as the Eddie Van Halen of the lute.

HOUSE: So you sleep, shower, and have relations here? Thanks, but we just remembered we have lute practice.

GASTRO: We get it. It’s a snappy prefix you can attach to any word or phrase! Like ‘-intestinal issues.’

Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

More »Related Stories

San Diego Happy Half Hour Podcast: Episode 127

Hillcrest gets a BBQ spot, DIY pancakes are headed to North Park, and Land & Water Co.’s chef Rob Ruiz drops in

San Diego Happy Half Hour Podcast: Episode 126

Pisco Carlsbad makes a big pivot, Claudette Zepeda-Wilkins and Javier Plascencia team up for a one-night dinner, and the Convoy District Partnership talks expansion and staying authentic

San Diego Happy Half Hour Podcast: Episode 125

Sidecar Doughnuts lands in Del Mar, a new pastry concept caters to gluten-free diners, and Urban Solace chef-owner Matt Gordon is back in the guest seat
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Most Popular

  1. San Diego Magazine's Travel Awards 2019
    Cast your vote now for your favorite hotels, travel companies, and attractions
  2. Best Restaurants in San Diego: 2018
    San Diego's top restaurant owners, chefs, and bartenders name their favorite San Diego restaurants of 2018.
  3. Winter is Waiting in Montana’s Yellowstone Country
    Win a trip for two that includes roundtrip airfare from Long Beach and a stay at the Element by Westin in Bozeman, Montana
  4. First Look: Realm of 52 Remedies
    Wildly imaginative speakeasy cements the arrival of design to San Diego’s Asian food haven
  5. Behind the Brands 2019
  6. Incoming: The Hold Fast
    One of the country’s top sustainable sushi chefs is opening a handroll bar serving 100-percent local seafood
Edit ModuleShow Tags

Promotions

Not Your Grandma's Orthotics

New year, new – shoe? Staying on your feet for long hours at a time just got a whole lot more comfortable with Wiivv’s BASE custom insoles

October is Rideshare Month

Join the Rideshare 2015 Challenge and get there together
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module
Edit Module

Connect With Us:

Edit ModuleShow Tags

Sponsored

9 Questions Answered about Botox

Avalon Laser demystifies Botox myths and explains procedures

Win Tickets to the 41st Annual SDCCU Holiday Bowl

This year’s Utah vs. Northwestern match-up marks the Holiday Bowl’s second straight paring of teams that are ranked nationally in the top 25
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit Module Edit Module
Edit ModuleShow Tags
Edit ModuleShow Tags