Hiding Out in the 21st Century

I VISITED LAJITAS, TEXAS, in September, right before our mayoral lottery—er, election— and I came away with a sense of hope. If it turns out we still didn’t get it right last November, this ghost town–turned–resort may have an answer for our political woes.

“The Ultimate Hideout” is how Lajitas bills itself. It’s the brainchild of Steve Smith, a Texas entrepreneur who helicoptered in during the land auction and bought the town, kit and caboodle, for about $4.2 million. He proceeded to turn it into a luxury destination resort— one so far from civilization that at night you’ll swear you can hear the cries of the Comanches who used to cross the Rio Grande here on their way to Mexico. To put it into modern terms, your cell phone won’t work, even on analog roaming.

Lajitas is nestled between Big Bend National Park and Big Bend State Park. Getting to the place is a big adventure. I flew into Austin on a commercial airline and then boarded a Learjet 35 for the hour flight to the resort’s airstrip. It’s possible to drive to Lajitas, but be prepared for at least three hours in the car. Yep, it’s that far from everywhere.

One of the first things I did after I arrived was to pay my respects to the mayor of Lajitas, Clay Henry III. Clay Henry comes from a long line that has served in the mayoral corral. That’s right—corral. Clay Henry is a goat. His office is open 24/7, and he is more than willing to accept bribes in the form of a scratch behind the ears or a bottle of Lone Star beer, making him one of the more easily bought-off politicians of our era.

My room was one of the new condos built this past year. Lajitas is a mixed-use development with “vacation ownership” homes and several hotels. With a full kitchen and living room, a flat-screen TV, and the resort’s grocery store across the plaza, I felt quite at home.

Rather than cook, I took advantage of Ocotillo, the resort’s fine restaurant. While looking out across the river to Mexico or watching thunderstorms brewing over the mesas, diners can enjoy such delicious fare as Southern hot ’n’ crunchy fried green tomatoes and elk backstrap with Maine lobster.

I decided to take in the whole Western ambience of the place with a little cowboy action shooting. I’d never heard of it, but I was assured by Charlie, my instructor, that it is the fastest-growing sport in America. I don’t know about that; I can say that pinging iron targets with a .45 revolver and double-barreled shotgun was more fun than I had imagined. For those who want to hunt something livelier than metal cutouts, the resort also has a hunt club that takes guests out for half-day and full-day hunting expeditions.

“THE ULTIMATE HIDEOUT” still has a few kinks to work out. The Agavita Spa is a small facility that unfortunately lacks the luxurious touches of the larger resort spas. However, a new clubhouse being constructed will contain a 12,000 square-foot spa. The water in my room was lukewarm and contained bits of shale from the higher- than-average rainfall runoff, while the golf course had some drainage woes.

In some ways, though, the annoyances brought home the fact that I was indeed out in an isolated part of the country where civilization is only now making inroads. There aren’t too many places left where you can enjoy that feeling.

As for the political scene here in San Diego? Well, if we need another mayoral election anytime soon, I’m starting a write-in campaign for Clay Henry IV.

After shooting, I went on a trail ride with Jerome, the head of the equestrian center, who was a fount of information about the history of the area. Along the way, we stopped by a canyon to see an old candelilla refinery. The oil from this waxy plant served as an important lubricant until other oils were discovered. Because candelilla oil was tightly regulated, numerous illicit operations popped up all over Texas, and their remains still form part of the landscape. If saddling up in the wee hours is more to your taste, there is the Sunrise Breakfast option with a ride to Star Gazer Mesa, where a cowboy breakfast will be waiting.

Candelilla is also the name of the café that offers breakfast, lunch and dinner with views of the only international golf course in the world. The course has a one-shot “19th hole” that sits across the river in Mexico. Next to the restaurant is the Thirsty Goat Saloon. Though the mayor was not in attendance, Cowboy Doug, a singer with a seemingly endless repertoire of old favorites, kept the constituents entertained.

If You Go

Lajitas offers a wide range of rates, from $165 to $805, depending on the season. Get details at lajitas.com. For information on private jet service to the resort as well as accommodations and activities, contact Lajitas’ Destination Services at 877-LAJITAS.

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