Destination Weddings

IT ALL STARTED WITH THE RED LANTERNS. From the moment Akemi Beckman and Kevin Dyer were engaged, the Temecula couple--who'd fallen for each other as undergrads at San Diego State University-- knew Hawaii was where they wanted to get married. Akemi could picture herself dancing with Kevin under stars and glowing red lanterns.

"We both fell in love with Kauai," says Kevin. "Its low-key atmosphere kind of depicts our personalities." The northernmost of the eight main Hawaiian islands, Kauai is mostly free of megaresorts. The beautiful, remote location the couple chose, a private estate called Pali Moana in the community of Kilauea, became the ideal canvas for a destination wedding steeped in Asian flair--from the menu to the red linens and red anthuriums and orchids. There were candles everywhere --and those red lanterns. Five large, silk Asian lanterns swayed over the dance floor; round paper ones dotted a tent ceiling.

"They literally painted the town red with this amazing reception on a bluff overlooking the water," says event designer Christina Lei Hassing of Hawaii's Pacific Aisles, who coordinated the July wedding with her partner, Maggie Campolong.

Most of the couple's friends had never been to Hawaii. "It was cool for them," Kevin says. "We had some close friends come over a week early." Twentytwo stayed at Kauikeolani Estate, an old plantation house, perfect for the luau held in lieu of a rehearsal dinner. Other guests stayed nearby in Princeville, at the Hanalei Bay Resort.

"We wanted our wedding to be fun and funky and magical and different," Akemi says.

ROMANTIC GETAWAY WEDDINGS--which often double as honeymoons--have gone mainstream since the 1990s. Everyone knows someone who jetted off to exchange vows on a Caribbean beach or in an Irish castle, avoiding the pomp and greater expense of a full-on affair.

"It used to be only about 5 to 7 percent of weddings in the late '90s," says WeddingChannel.com editor-in-chief Rosanna McCollough. "Now, 20 to 30 percent of the 2.4 million weddings [in the U.S.] every year are destination weddings."

The trend caught fire in large part because our society is so mobile. Today's couples are likely to have friends and family from Pasadena to Pittsburgh. Many destination weddings turn into family or college reunions. Because they're smaller and more intimate, they also appeal to people marrying later in life or for the second time. With the average cost of a wedding hovering around $30,000, approaching the big event as a mini-vacation rather than as an expensive fourhour party makes it much easier to swallow the bill.

"They'd rather spend less and have this long extended weekend with family and old friends," McCollough says. "Who has time to catch up nowadays? It's about quality of life. They've been watching celebrities do it, and now it's their turn to be in the spotlight." Mara Solomon agrees. Homebase Abroad, her Massachusetts company, rents private villas and farmhouses in Italy. "It certainly de-emphasizes the wedding insanity, the chaos of who sits next to whom," says Solomon. "The bride and groom spend time with the people who matter."

For brides and grooms considering a destination wedding, the exploding market means more choices. Wedding consultants at sophisticated niche companies like Pacific Aisles--which combines the strengths of Lei Hassing, a corporate event planner, and Campolong, a graphic designer--have sprung up in many desirable locations.

"We focus on the design aspect," explains Lei Hassing. "We get to know the couple well, to find out what they're looking for and how they want to express themselves."

One critical skill planners bring to the table is their knowledge of vendors. An on-site planner scouts locations and screens vendors, narrowing options to those within the couple's budget so the couple can make informed decisions quickly, whether by making a trip to the destination or using e-mail to view photos.

"It's hard to know who the respectable vendors are," Hassing says. Couples should be sure all costs are up front and vendor prices aren't inflated to provide kickbacks.

An increasingly common arrangement involves a domestically based planner partnered with an on-site coordinator. Faith Wishnie, a wedding coordinator for Karisma Resorts, all-inclusive luxury properties on Mexico's Mayan Riviera, is based in Milwaukee. "We like to be sure couples have a contact here that they can reach easily and communicate with in their native language," she says. With Wishnie's help, the couple need never set foot in Mexico before the ceremony.

Once they arrive, an on-site coordinator takes over. "We walk them through the entire process," Wishnie says. "People are afraid they'll have to go to city hall in a foreign country. Even the blood test is done right at the resort, most often in the privacy of their own room."

Though her office is in Massachusetts, Mara Solomon travels to Italy frequently (she attended six weddings there this past summer) and knows intimately the properties she rents there--including their house staffs, with whom she acts as a go-between to help couples arrange their receptions. "These homes have wonderful cooks who love the idea of a wedding," Solomon says. "For a lot of couples, the thought that the people who are serving them are involved and excited for them is an attractive idea."

The legal requirements for marrying in a foreign country may help narrow the selection for some. Beyond documents and blood tests lay hurdles like a residency period, which is the case in much of Europe. In the Caribbean, expect a short waiting period (Nevis, however, insists on at least a two-week stay). A specific number of witnesses could be mandatory, too.

ALL PLANNERS AGREE that immediately sending invitees a save-the-date card is an absolute must once a location has been chosen. Up to a year's notice is acceptable.

"For destination weddings, planning early is the key," says Bri Crum, co-owner of Divine Celebrations in Carlsbad. "We normally send out save-the-date cards eight months in advance."

Save-the-date cards should also include information about accommodations the bride and groom have arranged (a block of rooms or a group rate) or can recommend. If a travel agent is coordinating hotels, air travel and car rentals for the guests, include that contact information, too. This task falls outside of the duties of a wedding planner, but many work with travel agents.

"We refer clients to a travel partner who knows the couple's wedding details," says Lei Hassing. "It's easier when all of the guests are calling the same person. And they get better rates."

Keep guests in the loop with a wedding Web site, a crucial organizing tool. These are free and a breeze to set up at WeddingChannel.com, TheKnot.com and other online wedding companies.

"You can put in all the fun details," says Crum. "How the couple met, how he proposed, hotel information, directions from the airport, weather information, who is coming, where they're staying, sightseeing and if you've planned a golf or spa day."

Using the Internet and e-mail, many couples plan destination wedding themselves, using free services associated with hotels and resorts.

"There are tons of hotels and resorts set up with event planners," says WeddingChannel.com's McCollough. "If you want, you can fly down and see the resort--a pre-wedding trip to inspect sites and meet with the vendors they recommend. Or you can do everything by phone, reviewing options on the resort's Web site. The coordinators are there to relieve the pressure. They've made it so easy to plan a destination wedding."

THE PINK BEACH CLUB (pinkbeach.com) has hosted numerous celebrities since 1947 on its pink-sand strand. Located in Bermuda's exclusive Tucker's Town, the cottage colony sits on 13 acres. The hotel's manager arranges wedding celebrations, either on the beach or under a moon gate, a Bermuda tradition. Its $1,850 wedding package includes fees and a marriage license, a minister, bouquet and boutonniere, wedding cake, champagne, 48 color photographs in an album and other extras like one-day scooter rentals.

Unlike England, Scotland doesn't make prior residence a prerequisite to marriage. In Edinburgh, couples can board the Royal Scotsman(royalscotsman.com), one of the world's more luxurious trains, for a one-night wedding charter. At $32,400, it includes accommodations for up to 36 guests, a threecourse menu, wine, alcohol and entertainment. Longer charters are available, too. A coordinator provides cakes, flowers and hair and beauty treatments, and can assist with obtaining wedding licenses.

Many resorts offer free wedding packages with a minimum stay. At El Dorado Royale (karismahotels.com), an all-inclusive resort outside Cancún, a wedding package is available when staying in a casita suite for a minimum of seven nights. The secluded, airy suites have thatched roofs and ocean-view Jacuzzis and balconies. Some are "swim-up" casitas; a lazy river at the door leads to one of nine swimming pools and a swim-up bar. The package includes a coordinator, minister, decorations, document assistance and dinner for the entire wedding party at El Cocotal International Restaurant.

Transformed from a 12th-century monastery, Venice's San Clemente Palace (sanclemente.thi.it) has 200 rooms and suites, and shares San Clemente Island with its namesake, the Church of San Clemente. The cost of weddings varies (there are numerous venues), but the average is approximately $5,000. Weddings are orchestrated by an event manager who handles all arrangements, from menu planning to setting up appointments for the bridal party in the hotel's Beauty & Wellness Club. There's no waiting time for foreigners to marry in Italy, but several documents need to be obtained and translated into Italian.

In countless ways, couples find a destination wedding changes the rules for the better. "It was mainly just the two of us--no bridal party," Akemi Dyer, née Beckman, says. "And we didn't let our parents invite any friends! You're not walking around at your wedding going, 'Who is this person?' It was such a cohesive group by the time the wedding came around. Everyone felt comfortable--like they were a part of it."

Five Hot Destinations

Do you like what you read? Subscribe to San Diego Magazine »