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The Best of Life: Readers' Thoughts on Living Well |
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What it takes to say, 'Life Is Good'
In 1989, Bert and John Jacobs designed their first t-shirt. Now they have a thriving business. We’ve all seen, or own, their famous t-shirts that proclaim, “Life is Good.” I’ve thinking about the explosion of the “Life is Good” t-shirt business, and even the “LIG” response to “How’s it going?”
Now with the Best of San Diego Party by San Diego Magazine upon us Friday, August, 28, 6-10 at the NTC Promenade in Point Loma (BE THERE!!!), there’s a great deal of discussion going on about just what is “the best,” and what living the good life means. Here in San Diego, we know we live in the best place on Earth, but just what can we do to insure we are living the best life, the good life, in our own Garden of Eden?
There are as many definitions of the good life, the best life, as there are definers. For me, I guess if you can say to yourself, “I’m a success,” “I’m happy,” “I’ve brought good to others,” yours is a life with serenity and joy, you are honest and truthful in your dealings with others, responsible in your transactions, fair and equitable in your relations with others, respectful and mindful of everyone with whom you come in contact, and compassionate and caring in every situation you face, you’ve got a good life, and maybe even the best life.
While we’ll all be tasting the best of San Diego at the party, what I’ve just described above can’t be tasted, felt, touched or even taken home in a VIP bag (if you’re lucky enough to get one). Living the good life, the best life, is internal and between people. It’s not what’s in the VIP bag that counts, it’s how you share it, enjoy it and the experience you have with it that matters.
The old adage “money can’t buy happiness” is being examined by psychologists and some new thoughts are emerging. Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton (University of British Columbia and Harvard), two investigators looking at the money and happy-life relationship, published their results in the March 2008 issue of Science.
The lesson of their study, says Dunn, is clear. Money makes you most happy if you don’t spend it on yourself. “By that I do not mean give all your money away and live in a shack,” she says. “I just mean think about increasing it slightly. Just reallocating as little as $5 on a given day can make a difference in happiness.”
Another theme that has emerged in similar research is that money spent on experiences — vacations or theater tickets or meals out — makes you happier than money spent on material goods.
I asked nearly 1,000 people over the past week, between Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and face-to-face, how they define the good life and what it means to have the best. Here are some responses in no particular order, uncensored and not even hand-picked ... just the first bunch I had room for in this blog:
Gary Mantell: Doing what you want to do, when you want to do it.
Laura Faragot: Leading the happiest, healthiest life (taking my Juice PLUS+ each day) with those I love the most! :-)
Fylissa Lovett Bernstein: Would have to say it is a state of mind, that can come from several sources ... good health, both psychological and physical ... comfort with monetary situations, so as not to cause the above to change. Some people equate that statement only with material things; quite the opposite. Pay it forward.
Holly Hicks: My Grandpa uses to say, “Work each day like you’ll live forever, enjoy each day like you’ll die tomorrow.” He was a general practitioner and an army surgeon. As long as the work is helping people, not selling freezers to Eskimos, he added.
Matthew Applebaum: Working hard, paying the bills, and enjoying your family. You live well when you are happy in mind and happy about yourself. You do the right thing all else will equal living well.
Saul Applebaum: Living well is waking up on this side of the grass. It is doing all that you can in a lifetime to leave behind something that you have done well. It is inspiring the next generation to do better. It is, above all, being faithful to your beliefs and not forfeiting your integrity. It is a smile on a face recognized by others and passed on. Each breath we expel grows another tree. Each breeze we feel we now breathe. (This is living well:))
Shari Greer: Being able to have an open mind and heart, and give to others when needed. Being happy and in love with your spouse, and comfortable whether eating leftovers or McDonalds. To have enough money to pay your bills and still afford a movie. And most of all, to be an honest, caring human being who always has time for those we love.
Stacey Ross (sdbargainmama on Twitter): To me= living w/ passion, stability, physical/mental health, good peeps to love & FUN!!
Ricky Portnorff: Living well: a clean and honest life with a modicum of pleasure. The good life: A clean and honest life in which a hedonist contributes beyond his immediate family to the greater community. The best life: being remembered in death as a good parent, a community leader, champion of charity, honesty and good character without betraying the fact that you are, in fact, a hedonist.
Michelle Bonot: Living well is having a happy life with little stress! Having little financial worries, a good healthy relationship with a loved one and family and friends. Good mental and physical health. And not living outside the box! The good life is living well, plus more of it! And a good attitude with both lifestyles!
Maureen from San Diego, on Twitter: Living well is watching my sons (my pride and joy), helping moms put structure into raising their kids, and dancing.
Guy Kawasaki, of Alltop.com on Twitter: You may know Mark Twain for some of his very popular books like The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. He was a writer and also a humorist, satirist and lecturer and offered these tips for living well: 1. Approve of yourself. 2. Your limitations may just be in your mind. 3. Lighten up and have some fun. 4. Let go of anger. 5. Release yourself from entitlement. 6. If you’re taking a different path, prepare for reactions 7. Keep your focus steadily on what you want. 8. Don’t focus so much on making yourself feel good. 9. Do what you want to do.
Edward Kennedy’s eulogy of his brother, President John F. Kennedy: “ ... to be remembered as a good, decent man, who saw wrong and tried to right it, saw suffering and tried to heal it, saw war and tried to stop it.”
Hannah Montana sang in her “Good Life" lyrics:
This is the good life,
Take a good look have anything you want.
This is the good life,
Dining all your friends at the fancy restaurant.
Livin' the good life,
We have such a good time,
I know.
Grab a little Gucci Bag,
And some Prada shoes.
Here, take my credit card,
They're all waiting all for you.
Jimmy Choo calls out your name,
D & G on every wall.
When you can't decide,
That's okay just buy them all.
The words of the old, often-covered song “Give Me the Simple Life” may be most appropriate for many trying to deal with finding the good life:
I don't believe in frettin' and grievin';
Why mess around with strife?
I never was cut out to step and strut out.
Give me the simple life.
Some find it pleasant dining on pheasant.
Those things roll off my knife;
Just serve me tomatoes; and mashed potatoes;
Give me the simple life.
A cottage small is all I'm after,
Not one that's spacious and wide.
A house that rings with joy and laughter
And the ones you love inside.
Some like the high road, I like the low road,
Free from the care and strife.
Sounds corny and seedy, but yes, indeedy;
Give me the simple life.
Or was it Tony Bennett with whom you agree, who’s “Good Life” lyrics included:
Oh, the good life, full of fun seems to be the ideal
Mmm, the good life lets you hide all the sadness you feel
You won't really fall in love for you can't take the chance
So please be honest with yourself, don't try to fake romance
It's the good life to be free and explore the unknown
Like the heartaches when you learn you must face them alone
Please remember I still want you, and in case you wonder why
Well, just wake up, kiss the good life goodbye.
The good life? Health, family, friends, being able to write a popular blog and doing work that I truly love and have passion for. And, of course, attending a great “Best of San Diego” party.
Wishing you all a very, very good, “best” life!
For more than 30 years, Dr. Mantell has successfully been bringing upbeat, friendly and helpful psychological insights to individuals, families and businesses in San Diego as a clinical and corporate psychologist in private practice. He's been a regular on Good Morning America, KFMB-TV News 8, has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live, the Today show, authored two best-selling books and speaks regularly for audiences throughout the country. He can be found on Facebook at facebook.com/michael.mantell and Twitter at DrSanDiego.
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Reader Comments:
What a HOT blog topic. This is the BEST SD Magazine has to offer...I"m not one of the people who got lucky enough to be included, but everyone seems to be saying the same thing. We have the good life, the best life, if we SEE that. Going to the party tonight now, for sure!
Each week this blog gives me something important to consider. Today, you have knocked my socks off! Doc, your words come exactly at the right time--just lost my job and this honestly helped me take it in it's right perspective. I have a great life with or without a job. I'd love to be at the party tonight and my wife and I just might spring for the money to demonstrate to ourselves it's not money, it's character that counts. You are the BEST there is Dr. San Diego.
Gotta say it...this is your BEST blog yet. The songs, the readers, your own thoughts, you just put your heart into this and it shows. I am touched to think that you include your readers' thoughts and the community around you on FB and Twitter actually care enough to weigh in. I will be following you on both, and tell my friends as well. Thanks for helping me recognize what the good life that I have really is all about.
Tony Bennett, Hanna Montana and Senator Edward Kennedy in addition to fellow Facebook and Twitter folks all in one blog? Only you, Dr. San Diego, only you, can do this with such ease, readability and just plain sense. If your blog is not the BEST in San Diego, I don't know who's could be. I love the grandfatherly advice, “Work each day like you’ll live forever, enjoy each day like you’ll die tomorrow.” Perhaps you summed it up best...health, family, friends and work you love. If that's it, then I am one lucky woman living a great life in a great town!
Doc, your insights this week about living well, having the "best of life," are just spectacular and truly well said. Yuu have become our weekly guru for making sense out of this crazy world and we quote your words often. Our teenagers actually asked us, "Why don't you write to Dr. San Diego and see if he would agree that we can have unlimited text messaging?" Don't know if you would or would not, but we thought you would enjoy knowing that our kids think you are on their side. Wish we were going to the party tonight!
Doc,
You always have your finger on what is important... I love that expression LIG. I always try to be thankful for the GOOD in my life. Yeah, I might not have the new 2010 Range Rover that I LOVE or the vacation home in La Jolla, but I do have my health, a great job, loving family, and friends.
I think people need to be thankful for the GOOD that they have. Yeah we can focus on the bad, but I think if we all look, we can certianly find the good and remember for the most part... LIG!!
Thanks again as always!
You just defined the BEST life for me in ways that totally makes sense and reorients my perspective. Just the change in thinking I've had since reading what you and others here said, has been reverberating in my mind all afternoon and over dinner with my girlfriend. She agrees with me that we are not going to judge our lives by material, but my the way we use the financial resources we have. I'm a lawyer, and she's a teacher. We are really grateful for your blog. It could be one of the most impactful brief articles we've discussed with each other in a long time.
A hot cup of coffee and a buttered roll...what else do you need?
Uhhh, maybe some cheese cake. No, seriously Dr. M. it was a very interesting and useful article this week. Love the free shrink sessions...keep 'em coming.