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Thanksgiving: The Un-Turkey Holiday

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Taking the myths, but not the meaning, out of Thanksgiving

Don’t tell me you actually believe that Pilgrims, dressed in black, sat down with Indians, wearing feathers and colorful beads, for a big meal of turkey, cornbread, cranberries and pumpkin pie and created what we know as Thanksgiving?

If you do, then I’d like to discuss selling you the Coronado Bridge.

Thanksgiving myths persist, largely due to our schools passing down pure nonsense about this holiday from one generation to another. Bet you didn’t know that “Pilgrims” weren’t even introduced as part of the holiday until the late 19th century!

I prefer Erma Bombeck’s take on Thanksgiving. She notes, “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Football halftime takes 12 minutes too. This is not coincidence.” Now, that’s no myth.

That business of the Pilgrims wearing only black and white clothing with buckles on their hats, clothing and shoes is also silly. Buckles did not come into fashion until later in the 17th century and black and white were commonly worn only on Sunday and formal occasions. On most days, including the first Thanksgiving (whenever that was), they dressed in white, beige, black, green and brown. And it's likely that the Indians were fully clothed to ward off the chill of autumn in New England. Who would wear only a loincloth in Massachusetts in November?

And the poor turkey. One lucky gobbler gets a Presidential pardon each year, but the rest are victimized due to another myth about Thanskgiving — the menu. There was no turkey. A turkeyless Thanksgiving. The menu, according to historians, probably included cod, bass, clams, oysters, Indian corn, native berries and plums, all washed down with water, beer made from corn, and another drink the settlers affectionately called "strong water." Let’s thank the Victorians for what we know as the traditional Thanksgiving dinner — it’s what they ate as they celebrated their version of Thanksgiving.

And that Plymouth Colony story? Yet another myth. The first celebration that was called Thanksgiving occurred in San Elizario, Texas in 1598, when conquistador Juan de Onate arrived at the Rio Grande after a long, harsh trek. Plymouth Colony was probably the third Thanksgiving according to historians. The Berkeley Plantation on the James River claimed a Thanksgiving day in 1619, two years before the “official” date of 1621 associated with the Plymouth Colony. When President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed it as an “unofficial American holiday” in 1863, the celebration began to spread outside New England.

Oh, by the way, forget that fourth Thursday of November tradition too as part of the original story. We owe this date to President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who set this date in 1939 — it took Congress two years to approve it. Some things don’t change.

So, no Pilgrims, no buckles, no turkey, no Indian loincloths, not even sure when it started or where, no fourth Thursday in November, not even a November date (more like September–October), no religious holiday (It was a three-day harvest festival that included drinking, gambling, athletic games, and even target shooting with English muskets which, by the way, was intended as a friendly warning to the Indians that the Pilgrims were prepared to defend themselves). What’s left? A charming story.

It’s become a story of giving thanks, of generosity, of sharing, of coming together. Perhaps at the end of the day, it’s the coming together that really matters. Families just don’t spend the time on meals together that they once did. In fact, data suggests that the time spent on a given meal in terms of preparation and at the table has actually decreased over the past 25 years. So coming together for a family is a wonderful part of the holiday — for most.

Whether it's sharing a favorite comfort food passed down generations, catching up on the family’s news, deciding on a name for the new puppy, or telling stories — these brief moments may have lasting effects for children's health and well-being.

Of course for some families, large family dinner celebrations like Thanksgiving are times for lots of drinking that “strong water,” arguments about politics and chugging down the meal to the tune of the 1812 Overture to race back to the football games. Holiday arguments over religion and politics are a tradition that's as old as the republic. For many, it wouldn't be an American family holiday without a little hot conversation — OK, a lot of hot conversation.

Our governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has his own take on Thanksgiving that adds a beat of heat to the conversation. He said, “I love Thanksgiving turkey... it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to stop, reflect and, well, give thanks. Regardless of the story, the myths, the traditions that have been developed, the truth is, as someone once said, “Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow.” Gratitude does not depend on childhood false images of Pilgrims and Indians. It depends on the heart and soul of an individual.

Regardless of your celebration, the stories you believe, it comes down to this: as someone once said, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice.” For some it’s a quick “rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub.” For others, it’s profound expressions around the table with everyone saying something for which they are thankful.

In either case, simply have a peaceful, delicious, heart-warming and, of course, Happy Thanksgiving!

For more than 30 years, Dr. Mantell has successfully been bringing upbeat, friendly and helpful psychological insights to individuals, families and businesses in San Diego as a clinical and corporate psychologist in private practice. He's been a regular on Good Morning America, KFMB-TV News 8, has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live, the Today show, authored two best-selling books and speaks regularly for audiences throughout the country. He can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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