Email
Print
Feed
Vacation Deficit Disorder? |
Tweet |
4 tips for taking a truly relaxing 'psy-cation'
DR. SAN DIEGO
When you can’t take what you’ve been taking any longer, it’s time to take a vacation. But when was the last time you really switched off entirely from work and had a vacation? Thanks to my accidentally spilling a Starbucks coffee all over my just-replaced Blackberry last week, and waiting four days for yet another replacement, I know what a real vacation can be like — no cell phone was pure heaven. Well, e-mails still came on my Mac, so it got me thinking about the need for a real vacation.
I know — we live in one of the most “vacationable” places in America. Be honest with yourself and you’ll admit that more than once you’ve asked yourself, “Why go away since we live in the ideal U.S. vacation spot?” From the country’s leading beaches in Coronado and La Jolla to the magnificent Grand Del Mar hotel and famed La Costa Resort & Spa, where else in the world do we need to go? Maybe we don’t need to go anywhere.
Some people feel an uneasy guilt about wanting time off. Data suggests we don’t take our allotted vacation time. And in today’s down economy, the thought of taking time any off may be employment suicide.
Total vacations have restorative effects that can lessen stress, prevent burnout, reduce the risk of dying from coronary heart disease and help us all live longer and healthier lives. Vacations used to be a luxury. However, in today’s hectic world, they have become a necessity.
We all need a chance to rest, relax, recharge, renew and catch up on just chilling. But instead, many carry the same psychological baggage with them wherever they go. Workaholics transfer their compulsion to a new location — they literally carry their briefcases with them to catch up on work while on vacation.
I once saw a man sitting poolside very early in the morning at the Hotel Del, getting all upset — over what? Over OLD Wall Street Journals! That’s right. He was harrumphing and getting himself upset (and everyone else nearby) over stock market reports that were weeks old. He needs a vacation! Oops, he was on vacation.
The pop term “staycation” is a portmanteau of “stay” and “vacation,” first used in 2003 and popularized in 2008 when we faced record-high gas prices. I prefer “psy-cation,” which signifies a total abstention from travel, and instead taking a psychological vacation — a real vacation, travel or no travel.
Face it: With all of the schlepping of books, sunblock, cotton balls, hairdryers, laptops, cell phones, Advil, sunglasses, more books, San Diego Magazines, tennis rackets, bicycles, car seats, hats, more magazines, workout clothes, dress clothes, swimsuits, pillows, credit cards, hats, shoes, running shoes, etc., is it any wonder that those who say you can’t take it with you never saw a car packed for a vacation trip? When you throw in air travel, the stress of getting around unfamiliar places, swine flu and the constant spending of hard-earned money, doesn’t a “psy-cation” sound inviting? With these types of vacations, it’s understandable that the one who needs a vacation most is the one who just had one.
I recently went on a vacation out of town. What a week it was. Only rained twice — once for three days and once for four. So much for that.
Taking a “psy-cation” right here in our own backyard can create adventure, play, new ideas, new perspectives and new people in your life. “Psy-cations” help weave deeper relationships with your family, spouse, children and friends.
So how do you take a “psy-cation?” How about anywhere you go — from the beach to the park to your backyard to your favorite restaurant, it can all be a “psy-cation,” right here in lovely San Diego, if you create it in your mind.
Choose to renew your life regularly with a mini-“psy-cation.” For example, at a restaurant you enjoy. One expert suggests that as you are dining (in one of San Diego Magazine’s Best Restaurants of course):
• Notice the colors that surround you. Studies reveal colors affect our mood. Blues and greens are comforting and relaxing, and oranges and reds create playfulness and creativity.
• Notice the music playing in the background. Music is healing, and research tells us it can promote the production of serotonin, which helps the body relax. Research shows listening to music can lower your stress level and reduce your blood pressure.
• Inhale through your nose and get a sense of the aromas penetrating your environment. Your sense of smell is a powerful tool that invigorates and energizes your body and mind.
• Your sense of taste celebrates the gift of delicious food. When you eat mindfully you intentionally choose to enjoy each bite. You may also choose to experience gratitude for the farmers, the restaurant workers and the source of the food.
Get the idea? It’s peace of mind, not where you are, that matters. What is peace of mind? It’s a state of inner calmness and tranquility, together with a sense of freedom, when thoughts and worries cease, and there is no stress, strain or fear. At restaurants, your backyard, beaches, strolling your neighborhood — it’s what’s in your mind’s eye that can be a real vacation; a “psy-cation.”
So leave the cell phone off — you aren’t that important. Disengaging is what it’s all about. Stay away from TV and newspapers for a day or two. Practice accepting whatever happens on your “psy-cation” — nothing is perfect. Concentrating on pleasant sights, images and sounds at home can be more relaxing than a hectic trip to Bermuda. Find you favorite spot in town and visit it, post pictures of it around your desk and take a moment or two daily to re-create it in your mind.
I’m on my way to Coronado. Who needs to travel?
For more than 30 years, Dr. Mantell has successfully been bringing upbeat, friendly and helpful psychological insights to individuals, families and businesses in San Diego as a clinical and corporate psychologist in private practice. He's been a regular on Good Morning America, KFMB-TV News 8, has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live, the Today show, authored two best-selling books and speaks regularly for audiences throughout the country.
Do you like what you read? Subscribe to San Diego Magazine »
Comments posted here do not necessarily reflect the views of the byline author or San Diego Magazine. Keep your comments civil, stay on the topic and your posts will remain online. Comments that use foul language, ethnic slurs or sexually suggestive language will be deleted. Posters who continually harass others or disobey the rules will be banned permanently from commenting on this Web site.
Reader Comments:
This is your best yet! Who isn't feeling the stress these days? I sure am. Yes, I have a vacation deficit disorder and didn't even realize it. Like the guy you described at the Hotel Del, I've been on vacations that were never really vacations. To think of the time, trouble, expenditure we endured only to feel like we needed a vacation after just returning from one. What's with these people who are always going or coming from somewhere? Do they really relax? Maybe that's not their goal. Maybe they just like seeing new places and telling their friends and family how fortunate they are to be able to "get away from it all."
Your "psy-cation" idea is the BEST "get away" though. Never heard of it till now, but you seem to bring new ideas each week and I am digging you. I'm going to have a "psy-cation" first thing tomorrow! Off to Del Mar and the sights, sounds, smells free of my Blackberry. Tuning in and tuning out!
Awesome blog! I really appreciate your "psyc-cation" idea for what it
offers me and my husband -- TOTAL RELAXATION. We are one of those
families who need a vacation after a vacation, especially when we take
our kids. We are going to apply your ideas and see what happens. We
are total followers of the Best Restaurant guide, by the way.
Get this, my husband is the one who brought your whole "psy-cation"
concept up to me! AMAZING. Guess he got what you were talking about
when it comes to the need for quiet, peaceful chilling. Boy does he
ever need that! Now doc, can you do anything about the way he treats
my mother??? The whole family will be indebted to you forever! I'm
truthfully just happy with peace of mind for now. Thanks very much!
Dr. San Diego, how do you invent this stuff? It's TERRIFIC! "Psy- cation." What a great concept you introduced us to!!! My husband and I are loving the idea of going nowhere but inside of our minds to create a peaceful weekend with each other, enjoy a great restaurant, take a walk on the beach (you are right about going to Coronado), and follow your sage advice about how to really just chill out. Thank you very much for saving us money, reducing our stress and adding peace to our lives.
Dr. Mantell, you are a mind-reader -- we have become faithful readers of your blog, and each week you seem to write about a topic that just hits the spot for us.
We've been talking about a vacation and here you are with your brilliant "psy-cation" idea. What a great thought! So we are going to talk with our kids about this, see if we can teach them to enjoy where they are, and unplug from "having" to travel right now.
Turning off our cell phones, digging into our thoughts, creating peace of mind without packing, we're ready for a real "psy-cation." Sure is a money saver too! Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Wow what a wonderful way to STOP and actually think about things a bit! I'm not from this area originally, so yes a transplant. And I can honestly say, San Diego County has sooo much to offer for a "psy-cation" that so many here can forget and not even realize. It's natural beauty, its uniqueness and all that San Diego County has really does have to offer!! From the time we went hiking, just a simple yet very rewarding journey, to sitting on the beach feeling the sun, smelling the ocean and just taking in the natural beauty of it all!!
Thanks for the Great thoughts Dr. San Diego..once again you made me stop and think about where I actually do live!
V.D.D. ...yup i have it for sure...i have not had a vacation in so long, exactly for the reason you said -- afraid to take one in this economy. Lose my job over being on a vacation that only stresses me out?
Maybe it's an unrealistic fear of mine but I don't want to take a chance. Actually, can't afford to is more like it. So your "psy-cation" is a perfect answer for me. Your four points are easy enough and should work just fine. A few hours strolling through Balboa Park, or around the Bay, with the mind-set you prescribed, sounds like heavenly peace of mind. Will do Dr. Mantell.
Years ago I realized that returning to my job after a 1 week vacation left me needing another vacation to recover and get back in the swing of things. As you noted, unless we go somewhere that has no Wifi, no internet access and no cellphone service we somehow feel compelled to keep right on a-workin'.
Here is a cool routine I used once at my old sales job. Since I now am self-employed and since, technically, this happened many moons ago before there were laptops I am gonna share it in the hope that it gets others to see the value of putting your mental health first.
I phoned my office from hundreds of miles away at "The Beach" and after answering the usual questions about "How's the weather?" and "Getting a tan?" I said that my wife and I had picked up a tummy virus the evening we got there and were spending most of our time in the hotel room on or near the throne. Yada Yada Yada...on Friday of that work week I phoned again and said: "We've just now gotten over the malaise and are able to go outside. I feel just awful that our vacation was shot and have decided to stay another week so we can really recuperate." Not even my pointy-haired boss had the stones to challenge my request and of course I had already earned the vacation days, so we just spent 2 weeks. When I got back my desk was CLEARED - nobody could allow the crap jobs they dumped on me to sit unattended for 2 weeks so they had to pick them back out of my inbox and handle them. It was a total win-who cares.