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10 New Goals for the Next Mayor

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I MET JUDGE DICK MURPHY IN 1999. He was a longshot candidate for mayor of San Diego. Our interview took place over a wooden table in a Coco’s Bakery Restaurant—a chain that aims to please a family on a budget. Murphy was the outsider, kinda. He was all about grass-roots campaigning. He was billed as much more proletarian than imperious banker Peter Q. Davis, his former friend who was also running for mayor.

We know Murphy won in 2000. He decided not to run for reelection but was talked back into it. Months after his second term began earlier this year, facing a billion-dollar-plus city pension deficit, Murphy resigned. Officially.

After our quaint Coco’s tête-à-tête, San Diego Magazine ran a story previewing the 2000 mayoral race. It carried the headline “The Leadership Test.” Unscientifically, we ranked Davis the likeliest strong leader in the seven-person field. Murphy ranked second. In the primary vote, Davis came in third—so he was out. The 2000 two-man runoff came down to Murphy and County Supervisor Ron Roberts. During the campaign, Murphy delighted in pointing out he’d been rated higher as a leader than Roberts in San Diego Magazine. In fact, Murphy brought that ranking to the fore once more last year, during a 2004 televised debate, again with Roberts present.

Needless to say, we appreciated the plugs, and still like and respect the honorable Dick Murphy. It’s Mayor Murphy we won’t miss when he leaves office July 15.

Caricatures of Murphy that ran in our magazine were framed on his office wall at City Hall. I glimpsed them during a rare in-office interview. I got 20 minutes with him last year —shoot, I think we talked for two and a half hours back in Coco’s. But at least I was on his call-back list. A reporter with one of San Diego’s alternative weekly newspapers told me he couldn’t even get a return call from the mayor’s office. I noted a 20- minute interview took a month to set up. I also told the City Beat scribe it’s hard to get a guy to call you back when you refer to him each week as “Mayor FlippyFloppy” and “Mayor 10Goals.”

Which brings us to those inescapable 10 Goals. In speech after speech, Murphy reiterated his 10-pronged platform. He never wavered—even when events called for improvisation. So with all due respect, here are—based on recent failings and missteps—10 New Goals for the Next Mayor. Whoever he or she may be . . .

1. Talk to the press.

Because when you speak with a reporter, you’re really talking to his or her readership. Readers are citizens, and citizens are voters. When City Beat calls your office, call them back before they can think up a sassy new nickname for you. And here’s a thought: Send some SeaWorld T-shirts or an avocado sampler to the editors at Time. It’s hard to name somebody one of three Worst Mayors in America after they stuffed you with guacamole.

2. Befriend the city attorney.

Mike Aguirre is a brilliant egomaniac. To paraphrase the lead character in Jerry McGuire, “Help him help you.” As you take office, you are guilty of nothing—except being insane for wanting to captain the political version of the Titanic. Invite Aguirre to your fire pit, and encourage him to bring the brimstone. Polls show voters—surprise—like a guy who claims to work for people before politicians.

3. Befriend Donna Frye.

City Councilmember Donna Frye actually won your job last year. (Some who voted for her as a write-in, however, failed art class in kindergarten.) Pal up to her. You might suggest catching a few waves with our “surfer-activist.” She lacks a driver’s license—so offer her a lift to the mall. This advice is unnecessary if, you, our newly elected mayor, actually are Donna Frye.

4. Kick some pension board derriere.

One thing holding up the city’s sorely needed audits is the pension board’s refusal to turn over some documents. They won’t waive attorney-client privilege. Wave goodbye to any board member who continues to hold the city’s finances hostage.

5. Don’t defer anything.

Knock knock. Who’s there? Defer. Defer who? Da fur will fly if you continue to put off sewer maintenance, ignore infrastructure or revert to underfunding the city pension fund.

6. Fill the potholes.

Using Trans Net funds to pay for pothole repair would seem to ignore previously stated Goal 5. But jumpin’ jiminy, the town’s roads are more pockmarked than Manuel Noriega. The answer to traffic gridlock is not making the ride so jarring to the spine that we abandon our Mustangs in favor of camels.

7. Keep an eye on those Chargers.

We love the graceful speed of LaDanian Tomlinson. Drew Brees is big man on campus, and Antonio Gates has hands softer than the sheer teddies at Hustler Hollywood. But remember to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. The Chargers want free land to build a new stadium. When’s the last time you had a free lunch?

8. Work out. Remember you’re a “strong” mayor.

No need to go Arnold Schwarzenegger on your biceps. But keep in mind you will have unprecedented power as San Diego switches to a strong-mayor form of government. This means you’ll become the executive branch of our little Mayberry-by-the-Sea. You’ll preach from a bully pulpit. No more of this one-of-nine-votes-is-all-I-count-for business. That’s for sissy mayors.

9. If you get the feeling you don’t want to run for a second term—go with it.

Come into office with a can-do attitude. You need to clean house. We need a political colonoscopy (see Mike Aguirre). Gather consensus—but be prepared to piss off your friends. Grab this city by the collar and shake violently. If you get into office and try to ride out the storm from behind the bunker, then don’t listen when the puppet masters whisper “four more years” in your ear.

10. Don’t publicly state your 10 Goals for the City.

Doesn’t seem to work too well. Of course you should have goals. Feel free to use these 10 until you come up with your own. But let’s keep our governmental options open. Oh, and it might be a good idea to balance the books.

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