Email
Print
FeedShow Me the Money
by Ron Donoho
Sweet catharsis, however, is a diversion to the task at hand. About 200 of us are queued up in front of Planet Hollywood to audition for Wheel of Fortune.
When my turn comes, I leave no impression on Wheelmobile coordinator Tammy Tanberg. I shake her hand firmly and greet her with a "Hi!" that rockets off the Ebullience Meter. I’m wearing my best silk tie—the one with green shamrocks, not the red one with a cartoon Santa Claus playing poker with his reindeer. My efforts garner a souvenir plastic key chain. This is especially dispiriting since I’d been hoping for a cherry-red Corvette convertible with leather interior.
April 30 and May 1: Two weeks’ worth of "America’s Game" episodes are filmed at the San Diego Convention Center. When I see Tanberg again on the first day of taping, she is apologetic. After all, she met 5,000 San Diegans at 26 area Wheelmobile stops. Only 200 are picked to audition, and a mere dozen make it on the air to vie for thousands of dollars, exotic trips and a cherry-red Corvette convertible with leather interior. What—me, bitter?
To help assuage my pain, Tanberg grants me a backstage interview with Vanna White. Various cosmetic beauty aids are being applied to White’s ever-smiling face. So I get right to the important question: Why, for the love of Pete, does a contestant buy a vowel when everyone knows how GR_AT BALLS OF FIR_ is going to turn out?
"Of all the things, the best is to buy vowels," replies the Wheel’s woman of letters. "I know folks at home think, ‘You idiot!’ But people are so nervous. There’s 3,000 people in the audience and five cameras and this big wheel. People are out of their element. Buying vowels buys time and gives you clues. The smartest players buy vowels."
Actually, the smartest players get on Merv Griffin’s other cash cow: Jeopardy.
Getting to meet Pat Sajak is fun—though not as fun as winning 20 grand. "Coming down to tape in San Diego is easy," says the genial host. "I just pack the Wheel in my garment bag and drive down." Rim shot.
After Sajak bids me adieu—presumably to go finish reading Jack Benny’s Big Book of Jokes—I wander onto the shiny, colorful set. A stagehand lets me spin the wheel. It lands on $500. "Is there a P?" I whisper, a tear forming in my eye.
May 12-23: The shows air weeknights at 7 p.m. on (tenor male voice) NBC 7/ (sultry, female phone-sex voice) 39.
During the two weeks the shows air, Wheel watchers see remote footage of Vanna White kicking penguins at Sea World. (In her defense, the penguins started it.) Wheelies also see a studio set that features San Diego icons like the Hotel del Coronado, Shamu, sailboats and surfers. What’s not seen on camera is yours truly.
It’s frustrating that in the three shows I see live, no San Diegan wins any money—all the imported contestants do. Poor Julie Daugherty of Oceanside. Her best shot at cash is wrenched away when she misstates a puzzle answer as "Herb Albert & the Tijuana Brass" (it’s Herb Alpert).
San Diego–stationed Navy Lieutenant Kathy Henderson gets blanked in her game (a Melrose Place ’droid from Hermosa Beach nabs $19,000 and my ’Vette). In 1989, Henderson was the first female to serve on a combat logistics ship. Asked which is harder, breaking gender barriers in the Navy or playing Wheel, she says, "Definitely Wheel. But it’s very exciting."
How could I watch anymore after hearing that? What you don’t see in those shows is me sulking out of the Convention Center. Or the lobby scene, where I accidentally bump into a guy sipping a bottle of Evian. The bottled water splashes onto his face and drips down his white button-down shirt. Déjà vu: It’s the IRS agent from the dunking booth!
I ask him what he’s doing here.
"Takin’ names, baby," he leers, wiping water off his pocket calculator. "Watching the show and takin’ names."
He peers deeply into my eyes. "Don’t think I ever got your name," he says.
"Spanos," I reply, suddenly rejuvenated. "Gotta go. Buh-bye."
 |
Get the Print Edition
Get 12 issues of San Diego Magazine for just $18.00 a year! |
 |
Get the Digital Edition
San Diego Magazine is now on the iPad! |
