San Diego Magazine / January 2004 / Born to be Blond

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Born to be Blond

Asked about the autobiographical musical she’s premiering in San Diego, Suzanne Somers doesn’t hesitate. Or equivocate. “This show is why I was born,” she says.

The Blonde in the Thunderbird, named for Somers’ notable cameo in George Lucas’ 1973 film classic American Graffiti, is a one-woman multimedia show dramatizing her life. Not that her life needs much dramatizing. Somers grew up in a family riddled with alcoholics—chief among them her abusive father. At 17, she got pregnant, and at 18, she was divorced, adding more scandal to the family.

“I had no epiphany,” she says. “I just packed up and left.” Chasing her lifelong dream to be an entertainer, she got modeling and TV jobs in San Francisco. Still, it was a rugged period: “If I hadn’t had that baby, I wouldn’t be alive.” Her survivor skills prevailed, however, and she moved to Los Angeles. Her breakthrough, as most TV viewers know, was playing the ditzy Chrissy Snow on the hit comedy series Three’s Company. As she recalls, “In the demographics for women 18-49, I was No. 1 for seven years in a row.”

That peak led to another valley. A contract dispute with the series producers led to her being downplayed, then let go. People who equated Somers with Chrissy, as basically a blonde joke, figured her career was moribund.

Not even close. She’s gone on to grand success in several areas: starring in more TV series; creating a club act that won her Las Vegas’ Entertainer of the Year Award in 1986; and writing books, five of which have been best-sellers. Most of her books have concerned health, diet and beauty plans, for which she has created a line of products that she sells through her Web site and on the Home Shopping Network. Her TV ads promoting the Thighmaster and Buttmaster made both devices top sellers. She’s also on the board of National University, where she was given a doctorate after speaking to the 1999 graduating class.

Now she’s focusing on Blonde, which she says had its genesis 15 years ago. She had asked Emmy-winning writer/composers Mitzie and Ken Welch to punch up her club act. Among the suggestions they produced was a 14-minute routine about Somers’ life. She knew that was too long for a fast-paced club act, but it sparked the idea for Blonde. The Welches have composed some original songs, and Barry Manilow, a close friend of Somers, has contributed orchestrations.

Somers says the show, despite dealing with some heavy matters, is triumphant. “Everybody gets sent a curve sometime,” she says, “but it’s not the problems that count. It’s how you respond.”

Somers got thrown her most recent curve in 2001, when she learned she had breast cancer. After a lumpectomy, she shunned chemotherapy in favor of a controversial herbal treatment. Now she says her health is good. And she’s anticipating her show like an evangelist, because she believes her story will help others work through their problems. “These two hours on stage,” says Somers, “are the most thrilling, most exciting, of my entire life.”

(Jan. 24-28, Thur.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, Spreckels Theater, 121 Broadway, downtown, 619-235-0494 or 619-220-8497.)