What do evolutionary biology and punk rock have in common? A whole lot, if you ask Greg Graffin, zoology PhD and frontman of legendary Los Angeles punk band Bad Religion. In his first book, Anarchy Evolution, published in 2010, Graffin examined the tensions between science and religion. The book is filled with personal anecdotes from Graffin’s life and music career, making it a fascinating read for science geeks and punk fans alike. His new book, Population Wars, which came out in September, offers Graffin’s view on ecology and competition within our species, and the need to rethink the reasons for human warfare.
This week, he’s one of the featured speakers at the San Diego Music Thing music and media conference. We caught Graffin on the phone from New York to talk about his new book, his relationship to San Diego, and the formalities of teaching evolution at Cornell University.
I read Anarchy Evolution when it came out, but I have to admit I’m feeling a little intimidated by Population Wars, especially since I don’t have a science background.
There are a couple of chapters that I would say are a bit hard to get through, the chapter on the immune system and on viruses particularly. There’s no real easy way to tell that story, except to make it kind of academic. But what this book expands upon, and what I find engages a lot of people, is the fact that I’m not just talking about other species. I’m talking about humans, and why these examples from nature are important to human beings. For instance, there’s a chapter in there about first contact between Europeans and Native Americans and the kind of struggles that went on culturally. And I think it draws people in who are interested in American history and cultural anthropology. It draws a lot more diverse interests than just biologists.
So who do you think should read Population Wars?
Everyone from second grade to college. [Laughs] Look, it’s hard to answer that question, because I know there are probably a lot of authors who are super targeted in who they’re writing for. But do you know what the answer is? I am writing for myself. It takes a lot of arrogance to say something like that, but think about anything you really love—your favorite book, your favorite movie, your favorite song – I can guarantee that the writer, the creator, was not writing it for you. You felt a sense of discovery and you felt something that you bonded with, and you can’t predict those things. As a writer, as a content provider, as an artist, you cannot predict those things and still produce anything of real quality.
There’s lasting quality, I think, in the art and even in the sciences that come from a personal motivation. So, in a sense, if that opens me up to criticism, I’m willing to take it. Some people would say that this book is just a patchwork of science and cultural anthropology and anecdotes about music. Well, yeah, but that describes who I am. I’m trying to do what I’ve always done, and that is provoke people to think, and provoke people to make intellectual connections in this world. You don’t have to be a college graduate to read this. You still have an intellect, and I’m trying to get people, no matter who they are, to use that intellect to address some of these very difficult questions.
In Anarchy Evolution you drew a lot of parallels between evolution, or naturalism, and punk rock. As a professor, do you have people taking your classes because they know you’re the singer of Bad Religion?
It’s funny, because you would expect more of that, perhaps. But the truth is, because of the formalities of taking classes in college and the formalities of enrollment, most of the people taking my courses take them because they need to graduate. [Laughs] So you actually wouldn’t find that many students who take it because of who they think I am. And I’m happy about that, because it frees me up to be more formally academic. When I’m lecturing, there’s a formality to it. When I’m singing at a concert, there’s a formality to it. If you don’t stick to that formality it becomes contrived. It can look like you’re trying to accomplish something you’re not really trying to accomplish. And I feel like the same person whether I’m on stage at a concert or on stage lecturing, because it’s coming from the same part of my brain, and I have the same motives for getting up there in the first place. I just want to provoke people to think a little bit.
Your songs have catchy melodies and lyrics with concepts that are fairly easy to grasp. Is Bad Religion a “gateway drug” to getting into the heavier stuff, which would be your more academic writing?
[Laughs] That’s a good way of looking at it. I would hope so, even though it’s your opinion that it’s kind of academic and hard to read. My goal, just so you know, is to write for anyone who’s interested. And I think there’s a large body of people, not only in this country, but in the world, who are interested in this concept of warfare. Where does it come from? Why are we as a species so prone to war? Why does it appear as though we can never end war? That’s the kind of person who I think would find this book interesting, regardless of whether they’re a biologist or not.
You are an atheist in a religious country. It seems a lot of your opinions, which are viewed as truths in more secular parts of the world, are still considered controversial here. Do you feel like we should have gotten further as a society by now?
I live in the real world. I live in a world where I can recognize and understand statistics. And the truth is that an unusual number of people in the United States fear atheism. They think it’s some kind of a cult or something. I’m not at all prepared, nor do I really care, to fight those people. And I always say, I refuse to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed person. I’m not going to get into a punching match with someone who challenges me on an absurd notion—but I am very happy to point out the absurdity of it.
So am I surprised? Yes, I’m very surprised that people are still unwilling to consider a naturalist worldview. Or consider a world that is not controlled by gods. I’m very surprised about that. But then again, I understand where it comes from. People are holding on to deities because they’ve been taught since they were born not to question these things. So I think it’s understandable. These people don’t need to be battled, they need to be educated.
I’m going to switch to some lighter subjects before I let you go, though I appreciate this conversation. You grew up in Wisconsin and L.A., and you live in New York. What would you consider home?
In the bio for my new book, I say that Los Angeles and Ithaca, New York, are the two places I consider home. You can never really get away from the place where you grew up, and the San Fernando Valley of L.A. is always going to feel like home to me. But, for most people, if you choose to spend as little time as possible at home, then you have an exciting life.
Now I feel very much at home in Upstate New York, because before I moved to L.A., until I was about 11 years old, I grew up in the suburbs of southeastern Wisconsin. So I do feel a kinship with the changing seasons of the east.
Have you spent any time in San Diego?
Oh yes, definitely. I got married in San Diego. My wife is from San Diego, so we actually have a lot of relatives there.
You’re coming here this week for the San Diego Music Thing. What will you be speaking about?
It should be an exciting event, but I can’t give you an exact topic list because what makes it exciting is that it’s going to be hosted by a moderator. And the moderator is sort of a celebrity in her own right. Her name is Shannon Gunz, she’s a host of Faction on SiriusXM. I want the event to be very inclusive with audience participation, so some things that maybe you found enjoyable about our conversation here, hopefully people in the audience will find interesting, too. They’re going to ask questions and Shannon will moderate. Shannon and I have a good rapport; I’ve been on her show on SiriusXM and she does a lot of interviews with music personalities.
What are you planning on doing next? What’s next in the pipeline for Greg Graffin?
Well, I have a lecture tomorrow on evolution. [Laughs] During the fall semester I’m pretty busy. But next year there’s going to be a new solo album. I put out a new solo album about every six years, so next year I’m due for one. And then I’m going to develop a new book, but I can’t talk about it yet. And finally, Bad Religion has a new album to write. So we’ve got a lot of work to do.
And the 40-year anniversary of Bad Religion is coming up.
[Laughs] Yes, that’s coming up. Maybe that’s what we have to shoot for.
Greg Graffin Wants to Provoke People to Think
Greg Graffin | Photo by padu_foto / Shutterstock
Everything SD
JULY 15, 2026
He Saved an Encinitas Landmark Then Built a New One
After Captain Keno's closed, pro surfer Benji Weatherley gave its tables, dishes, and memories a second life at Breakers Cafe Bar & Grill
Captain Keno’s No. 8 special—pancakes, sausage, toast, home fries, and eggs for $2.99—was the fuel that powered Benji Weatherley for surf competitions as a teenage pro. A couple decades later, tears were shed when the Coast Highway dive-slash-eatery called it a day after 54 years. Usually, the guts of a shuttered restaurant go to liquidation auctions or straight to the dump to decompose along with its legend. Instead, Weatherley took in Keno’s spare parts—plus other relics from Encinitas’ past—and used them to build the newest community hangout.
Every single piece in the place is from somewhere in this town,” Weatherley says about Breakers Cafe Bar & Grill. “I’m not going to settle for anything less.”
Breakers is a Hawaiian hideout in an uncool part of the coastal surf town, but it’s got the set design of an Encinitas superfan. The plates, silverware, and coffee mugs are from Keno’s. So are the tables and booths. There’s a bench made from the last table preserved in The Derby House (a building that, for over a century, was a hotel, then became a hospital, a religious retreat, and a private home). Weatherley’s not performing CPR on old upholstery because he’s a fan of antique furniture. It’s a method to bring people together.
“Representing nostalgia in this town is the only way to grasp a hold of the community,” Weatherley says. “Everyone wants to touch and feel something different from what they’re experiencing on their phones.”
Photo Credit: Matt Furman
Every week, locals bring him photos, artifacts, and bits of paraphernalia from Encinitas’ past and ask Weatherley to give them a new home. “I’ve had ladies who were there when [Captain Keno’s] opened cry in my arms and say, ‘This table is where I had my second birthday with my grandma,’” he says. “They tell me these stories, and I tell them I have all the same stories about my mom.” (Weatherley’s mom first brought him to Keno’s and helped raise the young surfers from the Momentum Generation documentary—Weatherley, Taylor Steele, Rob Machado, Kelly Slater, etc.—as they surfed some of the world’s most dangerous waves at Pipeline in Hawaii. Back then, she owned Breakers Restaurant & Bar in Haleiwa. Name sound familiar?)
Weatherley has always been the funniest man in the room. He calls Breakers “the Chuck E. Cheese of Encinitas.” The restaurant hosts hula dancing classes, open-mic comedy nights, and evenings bartended by longtime Captain Keno’s barkeep Vaka Kaufusi. Cult-loved reggae band Steel Pulse hit the Breakers stage recently to perform a new song that Weatherley also helped write. His longtime friend Jack Johnson has dropped by to sing a few, too.
Despite not having a fancy location along the 101, people are catching on. Fire stations and hospitals have held staff parties there. Weatherley also currently sponsors four sports teams.
“Last night, I had a girl say, ‘I want my birthday party at Breakers,’” he says. “That, to me, is community in a nutshell.”
Emma Veidt is an editor at San Diego Magazine. She earned her bachelor's and master's degrees from the Missouri School of Journalism. She loves running, hiking, and rock climbing, but really, she mostly loves encounters with the street cats around North Park.
The inland North County community of Rancho Santa Fe is often associated with wealth. It’s one of San Diego’s most expensive residential markets and is consistently ranked one of the highest-income zip codes in California and the U.S. Rancho Santa Fe is known for its large equestrian community including riding facilities and horse trails, as well as its country club lifestyle and associated golf courses.
At the center of this luxury master-planned community is a small, walkable downtown area referred to as the “village,” with The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe acting as both a landmark and social hub. Much of the community, including the historic Inn, was designed by acclaimed architect Lilian Rice, one of California’s earliest female architects. The Spanish Colonial-style architecture she brought to the village is still one of its defining characteristics today.
Whether you’re coming to Rancho Santa Fe for golf, horseback riding, or pampering at a resort spa, be sure to start with a short walk around the village to take in the neighborhood’s charm. Plan your next visit here with our neighborhood guide to the area’s best restaurants, things to do, and shopping.
Rancho Santa Fe Restaurants, Bars, and Coffee Shops
The Pony Room
Families congregate at The Pony Room for elevated California ranch-style cuisine. Lamb lollipops, carne asada tacos, burgers, and weekly dinner specials are offered here, alongside an extensive collection of wine and spirits (especially tequila) and sizeable kids menus. As the signature restaurant of Rancho Valencia Resort & Spa, this all-day eatery is a lively centerpiece of the local social scene.
5921 Valencia Circle
Mille Fleurs
The piano bar at Mille Fleurs is the buzziest spot to be on Friday and Saturday nights in Rancho Santa Fe. French classics like escargot, lobster bisque, duck confit, and steak frites are the main dinner attractions at this local institution that has been around for more than 40 years. Spring for the four-course prix fixe menu before nabbing a coveted bar seat near the piano entertainer.
6009 Paseo Delicias
Nick & G’s Restaurant
Nick & G’s is one of the most prominent restaurants in the village, with an outdoor patio that overlooks the main thoroughfare. Enjoy modern Italian food, steaks, and seafood dishes here, including homemade pasta, pizza, wagyu beef, and oysters. Be sure to check their live music schedule and events calendar for the latest happenings.
6106 Paseo Delicias
Lilian’s
Named after renowned architect and planner Lilian Rice, Lilian’s is The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe’s flagship restaurant. Their upscale menus feature sustainable seafood, grass-fed meats, local produce, and even sushi rolls during dinner. Outdoor seating provides a bird’s-eye view of the village and an elegant backdrop for weekend brunch. Stop by Bing’s Bar (a nod to Bing Crosby) for craft cocktails, beer, wine, and light bites in a refined setting.
5951 Linea Del Cielo
Thyme in the Ranch
Quaint cafe and bakery Thyme in the Ranch serves a small selection of breakfast and lunch items (don’t miss the tarragon chicken salad), but is perhaps best known for its pastries and baked goods. Cakes, pies, muffins, scones, and cookies fly off the shelves here, where locals come for special occasions, parties, and group catering orders.
16905 Avenida De Acacias
Paseo RSF
Located inside a historic building once home to Rancho Santa Fe’s original schoolhouse, Paseo RSF is one of the village’s newest dining options. The charming American bistro has pasta, salads, burgers, meat and seafood entrees, plus a thoughtfully selected California wine list and new sushi and omakase program. Kids and dogs are both welcome here.
6024 Paseo Delicias, Suite C
Rancho Roasters
Grab a quick coffee to go from this walk-up window in the same shopping center as the post office. Cinnamon roll lattes, cold brew, spiced chai, smoothies, protein bowls, and more can be found at Rancho Roasters, where they brew beans from Dark Horse Coffee.
16950 Via De Santa Fe
Goli Pizza
Casual pizzeria and martini bar Goli is a popular spot for catching the latest sports games. Order one of their unique specialty pizzas like the Casbah with hummus and veggies, build your own pizza or burger, or go with one of their hearty wraps that’s made with an extra thin version of pizza dough.
18021 Calle Ambiente, Suite 403
Cocina del Rancho
Find generous portions of Mexican food at Cocina del Rancho, run by the same owners as Carlsbad’s Cicciotti’s Trattoria Italiana and Village Kabob. Get classic dishes like burritos, tacos, and enchiladas, plus their specialty items including pulpo, carne asada, and fajitas with lobster tail. Don’t skip the margaritas.
Kai Oliver-Kurtin is a San Diego-based writer who covers travel, dining, events, and culture. Her writing has been published in USA Today, Condé Nast Traveler, Fodor's Travel, Marie Claire, and HuffPost, among others.
Growing up in Carlsbad, I never quite understood why people vacationed there. What, so you want to check out the field where I have soccer practice? Pay my orthodontist a visit? Carlsbad just felt like a town by the beach, no better or worse than any other in the country. It took going to college out of state for me to actually understand just how rare a place like Carlsbad is.
Thanksgiving break my freshman year, my first time coming home after three months in the Midwest, my shoulders dropped. I rolled down the windows and drove to lifeguard tower 37—the hangout magnet for Carlsbad’s youths (and, in the summer, tourists)—and the smells of the ocean woke me right up like smelling salts do. I finally got it.
Carlsbad isn’t just a stopover town on your way to something better. It is the destination. Travel + Leisure named Carlsbad one of the top 50 places around the world to travel in 2026. From the whole globe, the travel magazine picked my home. Sure, we’ve got the Flower Fields and Legoland—but now it’s the smaller ships and indier dreams that are giving it street-level character.
It’s not just Carlsbad, either. People have talked about the “North County bubble” for decades—a force field that prevents its residents from traveling south of the 56. It’s often used derogatorily, and it’s a fairly accurate burn.
For decades, living up in North County meant giving up on culture, or at least culture within close proximity. But now, the main expansion of San Diego culture is happening up north. Central San Diego restaurants have started taking notice and are expanding into the area—spurred no doubt by Oceanside’s food boom and the Jeune et Jolie–Campfire–Wildland–Lilo constellation in Carlsbad. City Heights burger joint Key & Cleaver opened a new spot in Oceanside; the owners of Parc Bistro-Brasserie in Bankers Hill opened Parc Lounge in Rancho Santa Fe. Possibly the strongest market indicator is that Sam Fox—one of the most successful restaurateurs west of the Rockies—has started focusing on North County for his concepts. In 2025, he opened both The Henry in Carlsbad and Culinary Dropout in Del Mar.
For the ultimate insider guide, we found a handful of inspiring people who live and create and truly know six North County neighborhoods—San Marcos, Escondido, Oceanside, Leucadia, Rancho Santa Fe, and Vista—and asked them how they’d spend a dream day out and about in their town.
Courtesy of North City Farmers Market
San Marcos
San Marcos is in full renaissance mode. The biggest story is that the grand North City vision is starting to peek through the scaffolding. It’s essentially the North County Downtown that’s been written in the tea leaves and discussed whenever someone gets stuck in traffic at the 5/805 merge: a 200-acre, pedestrian-friendly, mixed-use face-changer that’s slated for 2,600 homes, 350,000 square feet of retail and restaurants, 250 hotel rooms, and about a million square feet of offices and labs. Its most recent manifestation is 222 North City—a 12-story residential tower with over 450 residences, rooftop garden, pool cabanas, art installations, and almost 20,000 square feet of ground-floor retail (Necessity Coffee, Buona Forchetta, Draft Republic, Milonga Empanadas, and a grocery store anchor on its way).
Which means Restaurant Row is no longer burdened with being the primary caregiver for the hungry or the socially inclined. Patricia Prado-Olmos has watched the city morph during her nearly three-decade tenure at CSUSM, having spent the past six years as the school’s chief community engagement officer. She also just announced her forthcoming retirement at the end of the 2026–2027 school year, so she’ll have even more time to haunt local haunts.
Meet the Local: Patricia Prado-Olmos
Those in the know call the university “Cal State StairMaster” from the Sisyphean amount of stairs on the hillside campus. So, any day at or around CSUSM should start with a homestyle carbo-load (biscuits and gravy) from Mama Kat’s.
“There’s something about this breakfast spot that immediately puts me in a good mood,” she says. Mama Kat’s is also known for its pie (strawberry-rhubarb), which is breakfast if you change your perspective.
After a few hours on campus—with a break to pet the university’s official therapy goldendoodle, Frank, who helps ease finals tremors or apprehension of on-campus stairs—Prado-Olmos will wander into North City, just steps away. She says the almond croissant and coffee at Christophe Rull Patisserie rival Parisian cafés: “It feels like the kind of place you’d stumble across in a much bigger city.”
Rull, a Michelin-trained pastry chef who’s done stints on Netflix (Bake Squad) and Food Network (Super Mega Cakes, Halloween Wars), opened his patisserie last fall. The hype hasn’t cooled off yet: Get there early because the crowds do.
Emma Veidt is an editor at San Diego Magazine. She earned her bachelor's and master's degrees from the Missouri School of Journalism. She loves running, hiking, and rock climbing, but really, she mostly loves encounters with the street cats around North Park.
Entrepreneurs typically launch businesses because they’re passionate about a product or service, not because they want to manage its finances. While working to carve out a niche in their respective industries and drive their companies forward, many business owners find themselves bogged down by day-to-day accounting. Their existing accounting tools don’t provide the necessary visibility or insight, and they don’t have the time or resources to hire additional staff or a chief financial officer. That’s where NOW CFO comes in.
For more than 20 years, NOW CFO has been pairing businesses across the country with experienced accounting and finance professionals. Its outsourced model allows clients to customize solutions that match their individual needs, size, and financial challenges, whether that’s fractional or interim support, project-based services, or full-time placement.
NOW CFO’s clients range from startups preparing for rapid growth to established companies that need additional financial leadership without the commitment or expense of building an in-house team. However, many of these companies don’t fully understand their needs until they experience a “trigger” event: preparing for an acquisition or capital raise, navigating a first-time audit, or another period of transition. With a team of over 300 consultants nationwide, NOW CFO can start quickly and match the right expert to the right business.
“It’s important for companies to have financial visibility, and we can help them avoid a lot of the potholes that companies often run into,” says Mariah Block, a partner at NOW CFO’s San Diego branch. “Roughly half of our clients have an in-house finance person or department, and we’re resourced for more bandwidth when they need an extra set of hands at the staff or senior accountant level, or the controller or CFO level. Some clients use this a few hours a month and others use multiple people close to full-time. Our model is solution-based and customizable. We’re like a faucet you can turn on and off.”
With NOW CFO, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Solutions are based on the client’s individual goals, challenges, needs, and budget, meaning a client never pays for more than they need. Whether it’s a few hours of executive-level guidance or a full accounting team to support daily operations, NOW CFO meets businesses where they are and grows alongside them.
“We pride ourselves on providing our clients with the right resources at the right rate and being able to evolve as their needs evolve,” says Block.
And clients appreciate on-demand access to cost-effective support designed to improve performance and profitability.
Luxury car storage service Auto Concierge has partnered with NOW CFO to support growth over the past year. The arrangement began with a staff accountant who covered a leave of absence, but as the client’s needs changed, they also added a controller role. This allowed Auto Concierge to put effective processes in place and navigate operational challenges. Lori Church, Auto Concierge’s chief operating officer, says NOW CFO has been an “outstanding resource” and a “true strategic partner.”
“From the controller to the bookkeeper, every professional they’ve placed has brought a high level of expertise, responsiveness, and professionalism to our organization. Their team took the time to understand our business of high-profile clients and needs, adapted quickly to our fast-paced environment, and became a trusted extension of our team,” she says. “As Auto Concierge continues to grow, having a reliable financial partner like NOW CFO has allowed us to strengthen our financial and business operations while remaining focused on delivering exceptional service to our clients.”
Walking into a room full of strangers isn’t high on the fun index for most. It’s inherently awkward: Everyone’s standing in closed-loop clusters, deep in conversation, and, depending on your social aptitude, the feeling is somewhere between light apprehension and burning alive from the inside out. The pull to retreat or reflexively look busy on your phone is stronger than the drink you now deeply crave. Having friends is nice, but making friends can be brutal.
There’s plenty of commentary on the loneliness epidemic. Last year, the American Psychiatric Association reported that one in three adults feel lonely at least once a week; those aged 18 to 34 are more likely to feel isolated and even more likely to turn to social media as a result. Dr. Vivek Murthy’s “My Parting Prescription for America” cautioned that “being socially disconnected increases our risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, anxiety, and premature death.” So it’s not just an emotional need; it’s nearly nutritional—chit-chat and the occasional wine-fueled, emotional deep-dive are just as important as Pilates and a reasonable amount of kale.
Finding social connections in any city is hard, but San Diego has very specific challenges. This is largely a transient population that acts as a temporary hotspot for many and a permanent home for few. Pick your reason: high rent, surreal gas prices, housing shortage, meh job opportunities (ranked 71st in the country in 2025), or the fact that active military is a sizable chunk of us (110,000-ish)—stationed here for a stretch, then gone. This constant flow of departees sucks out the potential for deeply established families and friend groups, leaving a good share of nomads, searchers, and plenty of people feeling socially awkward.
“There’s an underlying loneliness in all of us,” says Ramel Wallace, the host of monthly meetup CreativeMornings. “There are not a lot of San Diegans who are born and raised here, so [even those] San Diegans end up being just as lonely as the person who just got here.”
Photo Credit: Blair Kirby
Every month, in local libraries, breweries, and small businesses, there are ambitious social architects who have made a career out of undoing social sads. Extroverted champions of the awkward and searching, they’ve struck gold on in-person connection.
The first moments in a social situation are crucial. Sets the tone and cools the nerves.
At Pitch-A-Friend, singles recruit their close friends to present a slideshow of their dating green flags. The entry points for connection at Pitch-A-Friend are simple, old tech: stickers. Each colored sticker indicates if the wearer is single or taken, queer or straight, or practicing ethical non-monogamy (in a partnership but open to others under a mutual understanding).
At the helm of each showcase is Arielle Fuller, aka Chief Wingwoman, who is making dating hopeful again. As Fuller explains, this takes some of the fear of rejection out of a first interaction. “Putting a sticker on immediately means, ‘I wanted to leave my house and talk to someone, and I am a safe space to come and speak to me,’” she says.
Of course, not all of San Diego’s events designed to make connections are romantic. On the last Friday of every month, hundreds gather at San Diego Central Library for the local chapter of CreativeMornings—an org formed to unite creatives in various cities across the world (designers, artists, writers, producers, performers, architects, etc.).
Photo Credit: Gina Ribando
These aren’t your standard business card swaps, though. Coming from a hip-hop background, host Wallace uses call-and-response to break the fourth wall. “This is not my stage at all, this is our stage,” he says.
In your standard lecture-based meetup, the crowd silently faces the host and acknowledges nobody except those they came with. At CreativeMornings, everyone is encouraged to look around, pay attention to the strangers in the audience—not just the host. Wallace will pull volunteers to read the CM manifesto aloud, and he passes the mic to creatives, who make 30-second pitches to the community about projects they’re working on—and there’s always an invitation to connect and collaborate with the presenters whose ideas struck a chord.
The U.S. Chamber of Connection (yes it exists) says people experience life transitions nearly every year, and in these stretches are more open to forming new habits, relationships, and communities. In a revolving-door city like ours, the transition often comes when someone moves away. In 2023, the Census Bureau reported San Diego had the ninth-highest rates of domestic out-migration in the US.
This poses an issue for friendships that IRL SD addresses in monthly friend-making events called 619 Night.
“San Diego isn’t a place a lot of people stay forever,” says Alex Hunter, the creator of IRL SD. “They leave, and people [who stay] lose that community, so they’re hungry for community again.”
Their website describes the vibe as “backyard party meets college fair meets networking event meets happy hour.” Each follows a theme—wellness, sports, refresh and reset, etc.—with related community groups joining as well.
“The people I encounter are trying to get a fresh start in some capacity, so they’re more open, receptive, and ready to meet new friends,” Hunter says. “They need the circle.”
Photo Credit: Elysian Visions by Deaune Boyd LLC
Another way adults can break out of this disconnection is to revert in unison, says artist Elisa Summiel-Bey. The 2015-ish adult coloring book moment in the US was based on some real science, with multiple studies finding coloring has a noticeable meditative and stress-release effect by taking the brain away from anxieties and mental inventories, and focusing it on a simple, easy art. Summiel-Bey’s company Illustrated Melanin throws “Color & Chill” events, turning that trend into a group exercise, along with live DJ sets, wellness experts doing sound baths, and food and drink from BIPOC-owned local businesses. “I tend to think of coloring as your way to tap back into your childlike play,” she says. “As adults, I think we’re almost scared to let loose and have that unabashed joy.”
All of these social meetups attract crowds of likeminded connection-seekers, but high attendance is not the only thing that matters. Metrics nuts can track RSVPs, but spreadsheets can’t capture intangible wins: friendships made, innovative ideas sparked, collaborations kicked off. At CreativeMornings, Wallace redefines ROI as Return On Imagination. Resounding success means thoughtful inquiries over coffee, curiosity about the monthly meeting themes, and requests to take the microphone.
A simple, observable ROI is an increased number of window shoppers to the experience—on the periphery, watching from afar, looking for the right way in. Hunter from IRL SD sees the anxiety in her DMs. “The scariest part for you right now is not meeting new friends: It’s the unknown,” she says. “It’s the gap between ‘I’m here’ and ‘That’s where I need to be.’ If I can help you understand, or get a little bit of a shape around that unknown, it’s much more approachable.”
Courtesy of IRL SD
Being able to bridge that gap, however, depends on your ability to step out of your own mind. “It’s not a connection crisis; it’s a courage and confidence crisis,” says Fuller. The first hello could be as easy as, “Hey, cool shirt.” These are the types of things she includes in her confidence lab reels on Instagram and weekly newsletters.
Ever left a social event and shot straight into a spiral? Was I being weird? Why did I tell that story? I hope that person moves to another state very soon.
The experts say that post-event self-interrogation is a standard-issue part of being alive.
“I love awkward people, and I love being awkward myself,” says Wallace. “It’s humbling to experience: ‘I’m not alone. Finally someone is not put together.’ So give yourself that grace.”
Jeannine Boisse (she/her) is a freelance writer and professional creative with a background in Radio & Television. Based in sunny San Diego, Jeannine spends her time exploring the city's vibrant brewery scene, cooking up new recipes in the kitchen, and connecting with new people.
Just south of Lake Hodges near 4S Ranch and Poway, Rancho Bernardo is a suburban community that blends residential neighborhoods with industrial pockets, elevated by a decidedly diverse food scene.
Over 60 years ago, this North County neighborhood was once part of a family ranch. Since that time, big tech companies have taken up residence here, including Amazon, Sony Electronics, Oura Ring, HP, Teradata, and ASML. Rancho Bernardo Inn serves as a community hub, with locals frequently meeting at the hotel’s restaurants, golf course, and spa.
Whether it’s work or a round of golf that brings you to Rancho Bernardo, we’ve taken care of the agenda planning with our guide to the area’s best restaurants, activities, and shops.
Courtesy of Avant Restaurant
Rancho Bernardo Restaurants, Bars, and Coffee Shops
Avant
Sample ingredients plucked straight from Rancho Bernardo Inn’s onsite garden and served at their signature restaurant Avant. One of the neighborhood’s most upscale dining options, they serve a French-inspired menu with nods to California, including many seafood options. Don’t miss their more casual sister restaurant Veranda for al fresco dining.
Wood-fired pizzas and handmade pastas are standouts at The Kitchen, Bernardo Winery’s counter-service restaurant specializing in Sicilian flavors. Charcuterie boards and bruschetta make for great starters or snacks while wine tasting.
13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte
Bushfire Kitchen
Fast-casual and family-owned eatery Bushfire Kitchen recently opened a location in Rancho Bernardo, serving sandwiches, bowls, salads, burgers, protein plates, and housemade empanadas. Bushfire prepares comfort food with healthy ingredients, and offers plenty of vegetarian and vegan options.
11962 Bernardo Plaza Drive, Suite 110
The Cork & Craft
Some might call The Cork & Craft an overachiever. This gastropub has an in-house craft brewery and winery: Abnormal Beer and Wine. The more, the merrier. Their sushi menu is definitely worth exploring, but don’t miss other specialties like garlic noodles, chicken wings, and pork belly.
16990 Via Tazon
Courtesy of Carvers Steaks & Chops
Carvers Steaks & Chops
You don’t have to leave Rancho Bernardo to get a white tablecloth steakhouse experience. Carvers Steaks & Chops has prime rib (their best seller), filet, ribeye, porterhouse, New York strip, and other cuts, served alongside crab-stuffed mushrooms, wedge salad, French onion soup, potato skins, and other steakhouse specialties.
1940 Bernardo Plaza Drive
Burma Place
This no-frills Burmese restaurant is known for its traditional tea leaf salad that’s topped with sesame and sunflower seeds, garlic chips, peanuts, tomatoes, jalapeños, fried yellow beans, and fermented green tea leaf dressing. Tucked into a nondescript strip mall, Burma Place is a great takeout option when you want to eat garlic noodles, fried rice, chicken curry, and samosas from the comfort of your couch.
16719 Bernardo Center Drive, Suite A
Phở Ca Dao
Find authentic Vietnamese cuisine at Phở Ca Dao, including favorites like phở noodle soup, vermicelli noodles, broken rice dishes, and spring rolls. One of eight locations throughout San Diego, this family-owned chain uses robot servers for food delivery.
11808 Rancho Bernardo Road, Suite 100
The Kebab Shop
It’s all about the sauce at fast-casual Mediterranean restaurant The Kebab Shop. Smothering your chicken shawarma, gyro, or falafels in garlic yogurt, cilantro jalapeno, fire chili, and dill yogurt sauce is practically a rite of passage. The hardest part is deciding whether to order a wrap, bowl, or salad.
11980 Bernardo Plaza Drive
Casa Lahori
Get a taste of South Asian flavors at Casa Lahori, a Pakistani restaurant noted for its grilled meat kabobs. Other best-selling dishes include beef nihari, chicken biryani, and shahi paneer— best enjoyed with naan bread.
11975 Bernardo Plaza Drive
Kangnam Korean BBQ
Grill your own meat on the tabletop at Kangnam Korean BBQ, an interactive, all-you-can-eat experience that’s well-suited for large groups. Marinated beef bulgogi, grilled galbi short ribs, and spicy pork are served alongside traditional banchan dishes like kimchi, japchae glass noodles, and flavorful stews. Weekday lunch specials provide a nice discount on these filling meals.
11828 Rancho Bernardo Road, Suite 117–119
Courtesy of Curry & More Indian Bistro
Curry & More Indian Bistro
Dig in to your favorite curries and kebabs at Curry & More Indian Bistro. Most entrees are served with a choice of two side dishes, including basmati rice, potatoes with cumin, daal, naan, or mixed greens. Help offset the spice with one of their sweet mango or strawberry lassi drinks.
Kai Oliver-Kurtin is a San Diego-based writer who covers travel, dining, events, and culture. Her writing has been published in USA Today, Condé Nast Traveler, Fodor's Travel, Marie Claire, and HuffPost, among others.
If you’re anything like us, it can be easy to get so caught up in taking care of everyone else, that your own needs get lost in the ether. But while this may be a cliché, that doesn’t make it any less true: You can’t give your best self to other people unless you’re taking care of yourself.
Sometimes, that looks like stopping in for your regular acupuncture or chiropractic appointment. Other days, it means giving your body the fresh, organic fuel it needs to truly feel and function at its best. And some other times still, it involves leaving your responsibilities behind for a weekend to pamper yourself at an incredible resort and spa.
Only you can decide what your truly need. We’re just here to help you find the best ways to get it.
Tommy Bahama Miramonte Resort & Spa
Island living meets desert luxury at the Tommy Bahama Miramonte Resort & Spa in Indian Wells. When you step onto the 11-acre property, you’ll be surrounded by sweeping view of the Santa Rosa Mountains with olive trees and fragrant citrus groves decorating the grounds. In other words, everything about this relaxed but refined resort is primed to help you let go of the stress from home and enjoy easy sun-soaked days and gorgeous starry nights.
The rooms blend calming, woven textures with Tommy Bahama’s signature tropical prints and feature private lanais, making it easy unwind the moment you walk in the door. If you book one of the four Villa Suites, you’ll be treated to exclusive Tommy Bahama furniture and unique personal touches to further that feeling of instant ease.
At the award-winning Spa Rosa, the expert team will help reset and recharge your body and mind using methods and rituals inspired by the desert. The 12,000-square-foot retreat includes outdoor soaking pools, eucalyptus steam rooms, and outdoor cabanas, as well as massages, facials, and body masks—all aimed at creating a day dedicated to you. We’re particularly partial to the Day Long Escape, an indulgent all-day affair of CDBs soaks, renewing scrubs, life changing massages, and transformative facials.
Following your treatment, continue the experience with a meal on the patio at Grapefruit Basil. We love the Hamachi Crudo, a light, citrus-forward dish featuring premium yellowtail, house-made ponzu, creamy avocado, and fresh seasonal garnishes.
Whether you’re strolling the gardens, relaxing beside its saltwater pools, or indulging in a restorative treatment, you’ll be able to escape in style and relax in luxury at the Tommy Bahama Miramonte Resort & Spa.
Healcove Chiropractic
There’s no shortage of ways to stay active in San Diego—but if you really want to enjoy everything the city has to offer, you’ve got to make sure you’re giving your body its tune-ups. Enter: Healcove Chiropractic. The board-certified chiropractors and wellness professionals at Healcove are experts at addressing that stage where you’re not injured, exactly, but you’re not at 100%, either. Maybe you’re feeling a bit tense or stressed out. Or it could be that you’re not quite moving the way you want to. Sometimes, it’s just that the accumulation of days, weeks, or even years of daily strain is starting to take a toll. No matter what stage you find yourself at, the Healcove Chiropractic team can provide integrated, preventative care centered on long-term, science-backed approaches that ensure you can always stay active and live the life you want to live pain-free.
This starts by providing truly individualized care. Every patient can expect a thorough 60-minute consultation session that includes a posture and movement screening. This allows the team to develop a completely personalized plan. That plan might include chiropractic care, acupuncture, or massage therapy, as well as functional fitness training, vibration and sound therapy, and Dynamic Neuromuscular Stabilization, a clinical rehabilitation method that retrains the body’s stabilization systems. Whatever the team recommends, you can be sure that it’s tailored to meeting your body’s needs today and the future.
There’s a reason that San Diego Magazine named Healcove the “Best Chiropractor in San Diego”—don’t wait until you’re struggling with an injury to find out why. Book an appointment today for holistic, integrated care that helps ground and heal your body before it reaches a crisis point.
Juice Holler
West Coast wellness culture meets the community feel of Southern Appalachia at Juice Holler. Juice Holler’s menu consists of made-to-order smoothies and smoothie bowls, as well as grab-and-go cold-pressed juices, wellness shots, salads, and more. It operates from the blissfully simple premise that fueling up with food and drink that’s guilt-free and good your body should be simple, accessible, and, above all else, delicious. And if you haven’t yet made it out to the Encinitas café, which opened just this year, let us be the first to tell you: Juice Holler delivers on each and every of these fronts.
We love the Supercharger smoothie, a mood-lifting and body-fueling option made with banana, almond butter, blue spirulina, maca, grass-fed whey protein, raw cacao nibs, medjool dates, and coconut milk. We’re also partial to the Thrive Alive smoothie bowl, where avocado, mango, sea moss, spirulina, mint, coconut milk, and agave are mixed and topped with coconut, chia seeds, strawberry, mango, and chocolate drizzle. The wellness shots include the Detoxifier, a cleansing blend of kale, cucumber, lemon and spirulina, plus a shot specially designed to fight inflammation (named, fittingly, Anti-Inflammation). Probiotic overnight oats, lemon turmeric bars, and strawberry shortcake chia pudding are other standouts on the grab-and-go menu.
Much of the vibe feels beachy North County chic—think green tile with orange and pink accents, grounded with greenery and natural wood—but Juice Holler founder Kelly Sergott, a longtime Encinitas local, has also enfused the space with her Kentucky roots. In Appalachia, a holler is small valley between hills and mountains, where nature reigns, community is king, and nourishment comes right from the land. At Juice Holler, Sergott has created a holler for the busy modern times, using local ingredients to create a spot for people to come together and enjoy fresh, fast, feel-good fuel for their day.
Everwell Acupuncture
We’ve all had that experience with a medical professional where we’ve felt rushed, ignored, or misunderstood—and ultimately, like we didn’t get the answers that we needed. But at Everwell, the holistic acupuncture practice located in Solana Beach, the care team wants to transform your understanding of what healthcare can look like.
Patients at Everwell experience care rooted in intentional listening and radical empathy—and trust us, those aren’t just corporate buzzwords. This place actually puts those ideas into practice. You will always be given the time you need to tell your story— initial in-take appointments are two hours long—and you can rest assured that your story will be believed. Every single question and concern will be addressed by a dedicated practitioner who wants to find the specific solutions that work best for you, and you’ll receive care that’s aimed at healing the body, mind, and spirit.
Everwell’s highly trained, doctorate-level practitioners blend evidence-based acupuncture with the practice of classical Chinese medicine. (If you’ve never tried acupuncture before or aren’t sure if the team will be a fit, we’d highly recommended Everwell’s complimentary 20-minute consultations.) Research shows that by stimulating specific points on the body, acupuncture activates a natural healing response in the body, helping to restore balance, regulate the nervous system, and improve overall wellbeing. This allows the practice to address an incredibly wide range of conditions from chronic pain and autoimmune disorders to digestive issues, from stress and burnout to headaches migraines, fertility and postpartum struggles, hormonal imbalances, sleep concerns and more.
At Everwell, you can expect to feel heard, trusted, respected, and cared for. This is a space that doesn’t want to be just another healthcare provider you visit; it wants to provide patients with dedicated partner who will be there for their entire health journey.
